Tips and Tricks for A Good Night’s Sleep

A good night’s sleep has a significant impact on an individual’s well-being as it contributes to a healthy body as well as a healthy lifestyle. Insufficient sleep may result in waking up feeling exhausted which can lead to putting on weight more easily due to lack of energy to go about your daily activities. On the flip side, adequate sleep can help you to keep fit by reenergizing your body and controlling the hormones that affect your appetite.

There are some other detrimental outcomes associated with not getting a good night’s sleep, such as decreased cognitive function, an ineffective immune system, and mental health problems including depression. I want to offer some of my favorite tips and tricks to help you get the rest that is so vital to all aspects of your health. As a Life Coach, I notice my clients with poor sleeping habits, are limited in accomplishing their goals.

Schedule Your Sleep

Health specialists recommend sleeping between six and eight hours each night, depending upon your schedule. Just like your programmed work schedule, you need to schedule your resting time. Interrupting this timetable could result in insomnia, so if you are having trouble falling asleep, try reading a book or tuning in to some music that will soothe you to sleep.

The amount of light can also affect your sleep cycles, so if you have a nighttime job or need to sleep during daytime hours for any reason, investing in some blackout curtains may help, as will turning off all the lights and especially the TV.

Stay Active

Exercising daily contributes to having a good night’s sleep. Aim to do any physical activity at least a few hours before going to sleep to give you time to freshen up and get into relaxation mode before heading to bed.

Watch What You’re Consuming

Try to keep away from substances such as nicotine, caffeine, and natural or synthetic drinks or supplements that may be stimulating. These may hinder your ability to fall asleep and stay asleep. Heavy meals can likewise interrupt your sleep due to digestion and sugar metabolism.

Check the Temperature

Managing how hot or cold your sleep area is can help you get the sleep you need. Some people prefer it to be on the chilly side while others like it warmer. If you have a programmable thermostat, that may help ease you into sleep mode without you getting up to turn the temperature up or down.

Nap Responsibly

Try to minimize how long you might nap during the day. Research has shown that napping can help you catch up on restorative sleep, but sleeping too long can make it hard to fall asleep later that night.

Benefits of Proper Sleep

Obviously, there are many benefits to getting a good night’s sleep. We’ve covered some of them, but here are a few more:

  • Has a protective effect on the cardiovascular system, i.e., it may help lower blood pressure and stroke risk
  • Enhances your level of attentiveness, which is especially important when you have a heavy workload or if you have to operate machinery
  • Improves memory
  • Aids in processing the day’s events
  • Reduces stress and anxiety levels
  • May help with social and relational skills

If you’re having challenges sleeping and want to learn more on how to implement these and other valuable tools in your life, please contact me for a free consultation: LET’S CHAT

Quick update and info about me

I’m certain you’ve heard this enough, but this Coronavirus has upended many aspects of our lives. Late March, I was diagnosed with it and had to take some time off from life coaching to recover. But I am back and ready to help you with your goals! Here’s some quick information about me – you can also contact me here: (323) 736-1978

The question I’m most often asked is, how did I decide to become a life coach? And the answer is always very simple. 

Ever since high school, I’ve always been that guy that people go to for advice. In all of my social circles, I’m the one people go to if they’re looking for someone who will actually listen to what they have to say and offer real-world solutions that are dramatically applicable to their daily life. That’s me. That’s been me for years. 

I then decided I wanted to be the one to help not just my friends, but as many people as I humanly could. In order to achieve that goal, I’d have to become a life coach professionally, and so, here I am. It has been one of the most rewarding journeys of my life to help bring practical change to people’s lives and I am honored to be able to provide valuable lessons and tools that will help you in empowering yourself. 

My life coaching client roster is extremely diverse. From entrepreneurs, accountants, executives, actors to film directors, I’ve helped my clients take giant leaps in achieving a life that is satisfying and purpose driven.

I’ve helped alcoholics and addicts, as well as re-assembled marriages in the same week of helping a single woman find true love (hint: it starts with loving yourself).

Other clients aren’t sure what direction they want their lives to go, they just know it should be different from where it’s currently headed. I can help there too.

My strengths are intuition and empathy. My sessions are never planned ahead, you will take us where you need to go and I will guide you along the way.

If you are 100% committed to positive permanent growth, I can get you there.

This will be challenging, it will be scary, and you will convince yourself to quit numerous times. But I promise you, if you stick with it, you’ll be amazed at the brilliance you’ll find within you.

My clients are usually in one of the following places before they contact me: 

Tired of feeling trapped in their career or business wondering when the constant day to day struggle will end so they can get their life back.

Exhausted from high levels of day to day stress and anxiety that should have dissolved after certain goals and accomplishments were met. 

Experiencing overall frustration by doing what they’re ‘supposed’ to do but not getting back the ideal results making them question whether or not this is the path for them. 

Sick of feeling self-doubt making every decision an internal battle making them feel as though a heavy weight is on their chest impossible to remove. 

Fearful of an impending burnout sensation as the motivation, energy, positivity, and confidence they once held is slowly but certainly declining. 

If these situations sound all too familiar, it is time to contact me. Are you ready to create a life full of abundance and true freedom? 

What happens if nothing changes?

While I am a Life Coach based in Sherman Oaks, California (or Los Angeles), I am able to help coach you no matter where you live. From San Diego to San Francisco. From California to New York. Connect with me and let’s chat to see if life coaching is a good fit for you.

Let’s Chat <<<Click here to change your life 🙂

My recent interview with Business Talk Radio on the role of a life coach and what happens in a life coaching session.

Recently, I was interviewed by Business Talk Radio about my role as a life coach and what my clients can expect during a life coaching session. A link to the audio is at the bottom of this article, here is the transcript, enjoy!


Business Talk Radio, Christopher Roberts: Welcome back to the show, I’m your host Christopher Roberts. Joining me now, he is from Los Angeles, CA, he is a Certified Life Coach, ladies and gentlemen let’s welcome Tommy Lee Kirby to the program. Tommy, welcome, how are you today?

Life Coach Tommy: I’m doing great, Christopher, how are you?

Christopher: I’m doing really well, so – welcome to the show. Thanks for taking a few minutes out of your day to join us, we appreciate it. And – why don’t you tell us a little about – who you are and what you do.

Life Coach Tommy: Yeah, well, I’m a Certified Life Coach out here in Los Angeles and I help my clients with a lot of things. Mostly weight loss, weight management, executive coaching, team coaching, and overall well-being, goals fulfillment, goal-setting and that sort of thing.

Christopher: Alright now what really got you started on this thing, what sent you down this road?

Life Coach Tommy: That’s a great question. I’ve always been that guy in social circles that everyone goes to for advice. I’ve been that way since high school. And people, they follow my advice and their life is better because of it. So about – six years ago, I decided to give people advice and help them out professionally and get paid for it and so, I actually started hitting it off, got a couple of clients and then said, ‘hey, I’m really talented at this life coaching thing’ and decided to pursue it full time.

Christopher: Alrighty now what really got you started in what you’re doing?

Life Coach Tommy: What got me started? Yeah, basically, just a lot of inspiration, you know Tony Robbins, motivational speaker, I thought that I could do what he was doing, and just really inspired to help as many people as I possibly can.

Christopher: Alrighty now when someone does reach out to you for the first time what do you think is the most dominant thing that they’re looking for?

Life Coach Tommy: That is an excellent question. Percentage wise, a lot of people want to lose weight. But what we find is that it’s not really about losing weight, it’s about why we’re eating so much and so what it turns into is people are actually looking for guidance in their own personal lives and their emotional well-being. That goes for people from all walks of life. That goes for executives all the way down to people who cut hair. But it’s pretty much all over the spectrum. And, overall it’s just emotional well-being. Making sure that they’re living their best life and what they want. But it’s funny because 90% of my clients come to me wanting to lose weight.

Christopher: Alrighty, now, why do you think they choose you over someone else. What sets you apart?

Life Coach Tommy: The biggest thing is that I listen. That’s been the biggest compliment that I’ve gotten – the consistent compliment that I’ve gotten is that I’m an active listener. People know that I’m taking really powerful notes and then I bounce them back and you know the things that happen in a session is that I will let them know what I’m sensing and, 99% of the time I have it right. And so they get that clarification – that validation that I listen and can provide tools that will help their issues based on what I’ve heard, based on what I’ve sensed.

Christopher: Alright, now I know for a fact that to be a life coach you don’t need to be certified and now you are. What’s the benefit of being certified over not being.

Life Coach Tommy: That is a great question. I wasn’t certified all the time. I just recently – I’ve been certified for about three years now and the thing that’s different about it is literally just education. You don’t necessarily need it, but it helps because – where it helps me is – asking more questions. More powerful questions to get out of my clients what they need to help themselves. So, again, it’s about being educated in finding out really where your clients are coming from. But again, you don’t need that to be a life coach.

Christopher: Alrighty, now how long do these sessions usually run for?

Life Coach Tommy: So I do 50 minute sessions – it’s overall an hour commitment. 50 minutes is how long the session lasts and there’s like 10 minutes for like a debriefing and business and related type of stuff. But, overall, an hour.

Christopher: So – we got an extra minute or so, walk me through one of your sessions. What’s that like? What’s – somebody getting themselves into when they reach out to you?

Life Coach Tommy: Yeah, that’s a great question. So – we do a twenty minute initial session first and foremost just to make sure that Life Coaching, one, that life coaching is a good fit for them, and two, I’m the Life Coach for them. So, in that twenty minute session, I will ask a series of questions to see where they’re at in their life, what they’ve done prior to this – before talking to me, and, ultimately, what do they want to get out of life coaching. After that twenty minute session, we will then both agree whether or not – or come to an agreement whether or not life coaching is for them and if I’m the life coach for them.

Christopher: Alrighty and where do you think you see yourself moving forward? What’s on tap for you?

Life Coach Tommy: That’s a great question. Well, the biggest thing obviously, the biggest thing is more clients, but ultimately, long term is that – I want to help as many people as I possibly can and I would be doing that by talking to multiple people at a time – case in point – this broadcast, but motivational speaking is the ultimate goal. Being able to motivate and inspire thousands of people at a time. That’s the ultimate goal.

Christopher: Alrighty, well how can people reach out and contact you to find out more information.

Life Coach Tommy: Yeah, they can go to my website: they can look at what I’m all about and if I’m a good fit for them, there’s a contact form on there and they can also email me at

Christopher: Alrighty, well it’s been a pleasure having you on the show today. Thank you so much.

Life Coach Tommy: Yeah, thank you, Christopher.

Christopher: You are so welcome and for everyone else out there, do stick around, we will be right back.


Here’s the AUDIO

As mentioned, feel free to reach out to me if you see life coaching as a good fit for you and want to hire a life coach. I can also be reached directly at (323) 736-1978

Look forward to connecting!

Video – How to handle toxic relationships


Life Coach Tommy: Hey guys Life Coach Tommy here, Happy Monday! I hope you are looking forward to today and I hope that this week is a productive week. Many people are coming back to their ‘real lives’ and I hope you are having a productive one.

I just went to the gym and, very crowded, January 6th, everyone’s coming back to reality, everyone’s going back to they gym – it’s cool to see everyone there.

Really quick, what I wanted to talk about in this video was relationships. As a life coach, I do focus on relationship coaching and I wanted to talk about specifically the negative or toxic relationships we have in our lives.

Essentially, I wanted to share with you a personal story to give an example: I have worked extremely hard, I would say, the past thirteen or so years to make sure that the people that I associate myself with are positive and supportive. And what I mean by that is that I don’t have time or energy in my personal life to share my time and energy with people who want to complain about negative or toxic things that they have no control over and tell me, personally, that I can’t do something.

Just recently I had an acquaintance you know he tries really hard to be my friend but unfortunately I cannot associate myself with him because recently he told me that I can’t be a bodybuilder. He literally was very persistent because he ‘cared about my health’ and about me he was very persistent in telling me: ‘don’t pursue bodybuilding’ – ‘don’t try to compete’ – ‘don’t do this’ – ‘you’re too old’ you’ll never make it as an actor – I’ve already made it as an actor – I’ve already made it as an actor, but anyway that’s beside the point. He basically was very persistent in saying don’t do this – it’s not good for you.

The unfortunate thing – fortunately for me, but unfortunately for him, because of his toxic passion, because of his conviction towards bringing me down and not you know encouraging me – that’s a relationship I can no longer be a part of and it sucks.

For me personally, my decision is to cut that relationship off. Personally, I already have questions, not negativity, but self-doubt in my own mind that I coach myself out of and I confront every single day. I don’t need that from the outside world. I need to keep positive people around me.

The reason I share that story is that I encourage you to encourage positive environments. Now, I’m never going to tell anyone or coach anyone to let go of a toxic relationship – that is a decision you must make. But I do encourage you, as I did, communicate with this person or these people that are negative and say, ‘Listen, I understand where you’re coming from, but it’s not helpful to me.’ And if they’re not receptive, if they’re not receiving that, then it’s up to you whether or not you want to continue that relationship.

Again, it is possible to have those people in your lives as long as you manage the communication, if you manage what they’re saying to you – but you don’t have to. And I would really encourage you to one) if you don’t want to cut them out of your life, which is okay, communicate with them and let them know that their negativity is not healthy for the relationship that you have.

And, sometimes it changes their behavior, with this person this personal example – it wasn’t changing their behavior – I did let him know that I’ve been on this path for a very long and there is absolutely nothing he can say to discourage that path. So, yeah, that was the end of that relationship.

Anyways, hope you’re having a great Monday. And, again, in conclusion just be aware of the relationships you have in your life. Because I know from personal experience that if you have – I mean just imagine psychologically if you have nothing but positivity around you, you can accomplish really good things.

If you have any questions about what I’ve said if you like what I said, like it, share it. And if you’re interested in Life Coaching reach out to me CLICK HERE we’ll talk and see if it’s a good fit for you.

15 ways to stay motivated to exercise and lose weight

Three of the most common reasons people choose to hire a life coach, in my experience, are to help them stay motivated, start a fitness program, and lose weight. And, of course, staying motivated on their fitness program, or staying motivated to lose weight.

When embarking on this journey to exercise and lose weight, about 90% of my clients learn that the reasons they aren’t able to stick to their weight loss goals is due to lack of motivation – consistent motivation. It’s my job to help with this struggle and push them to stay motivated.

The reality is, while losing weight IS hard, the science is extremely easy. The amount of calories you consume should be less than the amount of calories you burn. That’s it. While, on a literal and logical sense, achieving what’s called a consistent ‘caloric deficit’ to lose weight is easy, the emotional fortitude one needs to accomplish this is what makes it so difficult to sustain.

So, to help with this goal in sustaining weight loss once you’ve gained momentum, here are 15 changes you should make and hold in your life to achieve success and stay motivated to lose weight. After reading this article, be sure to read about the 40 weight loss “secrets” that don’t work.

1. Find a gym partner – ask a friend.

The best way to embark on a difficult journey is to have a companion, a comrade, a partner in crime. Find someone who can help keep you motivated while at the gym. Studies have shown that, even on a social psychology level, individuals are prone to work harder at the gym if they have a peer working out with them. And, it follows, that they are able to get more out of their workouts. It also removes the excuse of not going to the gym if you have someone with whom you’re accountable.

2. Hire a coach or personal trainer.

Just like having a partner in crime, having someone who can guide you, coach you, remind you why you’re sweating your butt off, can help you work transformative miracles when it comes to your weight loss goals. Having a life coach or personal trainer will help you maximize your accomplishments and ultimately keep you accountable to the goals you’ve set for yourself while helping you gain clarity on why you’re doing what you’re doing. The most rewarding part of my job, as a life coach, is showing my clients that the inevitable obstacles along the way are merely tests to challenge their threshold and how far they’re willing to go to achieve their goals.

3. Begin your days with motivational quotes.

Keeping your brain in a positive mind-set should start from the second you get out of bed. Whether while you’re drinking your coffee, morning tea, or whatever you decide to consume or do first thing in the morning, read motivational quotes every day to lock in a ‘can-do’ attitude throughout the rest of your day. Remind yourself of this goal anytime your mentality shifts to the negative. Getting your hands on daily motivational quotes is extremely easy, from buying a daily motivational quotes calendar to visiting one of my favorite websites: Motivational Quote Generator

4. Set realistic attainable goals.

One of the greatest obstacles in losing weight is setting unrealistic goals. Losing fifty pounds in six months (while attainable) can seem far away and unrealistic on day one. But striving to lose a minimum of 2 pounds a week and checking in every two weeks on where you’re at is much more achievable (and it results in the same goal). Long distance runners won’t focus on how far the finish line is, they focus on getting to the next half mile, or even just the next marker to stay motivated on their entire journey.

5. Write down your goals!

Speaking of goals, write them down! One of the first things my clients learn of my coaching process is 1) to bring something to write with and 2) be ready to write! Anytime my clients profess a goal, it’s written down, followed by motivational action steps needed to achieve those goals. When your mind creates a goal, that’s all it does – ‘creates a goal’. There isn’t much your brain can do with just the creation of a goal. Writing it down makes it real and your mind can look at it from an objective point of view and see it as something accomplishable. Keeping your goals inside your brain de-prioritizes them and they become easily forgettable.

6. Avoid comparing yourself to others.

In this social media rich world, it’s really difficult to not compare yourself with where others are on their fitness journey. Forget social media though and just go to the gym. It’s easy to remind ourselves while we’re at the gym where WE are on OUR fitness journey. In Bertrand Russell’s book, a 20th century philosopher, The Conquest of Happiness, he writes an entire chapter on Envy and how comparing ourselves and our journeys to another’s is detrimental to the success of our own journey. The truth is, we can never know what this other person has done up to this point to get to where they are (nor should we concern ourselves). Focus wholeheartedly on your own journey and on your own path to success.

7. Be mindful of your social circle and who you hang out with.

Sales and Real Estate guru, Grant Cardone, says that you are the five people you hang out with. Be sure that these five people are people who are lifting you and living their own positive goals. Surround yourself with individuals who are on the same wavelength as you when it comes to goal-setting and motivation. Whether negative or positive, on a social psychology level, the energy someone holds is absolutely contagious. Be sure you’re becoming infected with something good!

8. Understand the power of cheat day.

Guess what, one day of a calorie surplus (the opposite of a calorie deficit (see the intro paragraph on the easy science behind losing weight)), will not halt your weight loss goals. If you’ve been on track the day before and you’re back on track the day after, your body won’t suddenly put on 10 pounds of body fat. Schedule the cheat day, anticipate it every day you’re doing something positive for your weight loss goals (something to look forward to!) and enjoy it!

9. Avoid avoiding delicious foods.

Speaking of ‘cheating’ this weight loss journey does not have to be miserable. There are so many foods out there that have an unnecessary stigma on them and are avoided like the plague. The problem with avoiding them is that when the cravings come around for them and you cheat a little bit (and it’s not cheat day!), the little bit could turn into a lot and you could easily get discouraged that this weight loss thing is just not for you. While it’s important to stay mindful of your caloric count, there are plenty of healthy ways to consume that cheeseburger or that slice of pizza (e.g. homemade with low fat cheese?). Treat yourself to the delicious stuff!

10. Don’t follow fad diets.

The word ‘fad’ comes from the term ‘fiddle-faddle’ which has been defined as ‘trivial fancy adopted and pursued for a time with irrational zeal.’ Think Keto, Intermittent Fasting, Atkins, or South Beach, if something is SUDDENLY becoming EXTREMELY popular, run the other way. The biggest issue with the ‘fiddle-faddle’ diets are that they create temporary results that are not sustainable. The Keto diet, for example, will help you lose a lot of weight in an extremely short period of time. But, after this weight loss is achieved, a low-carb, high protein diet is not sustainable and people do gain their weight back after re-introducing a healthy portion of carbs to their diets. The tried and true method of losing weight and keeping it off is and always has been good ole fashion persistent diet and exercise.

11. Keep track of your calories and macros.

Every time I work out at LA Fitness, there’s a commercial that interrupts the music that goes, “What gets measured, gets improved!” And I couldn’t agree more. When people see me, it is obvious because of my physique that I workout and am training as a bodybuilder. As such, I get asked how they can get fit and have some semblance of a body like mine. I always respond with, “Well, what are you eating?” The adage, ‘we are what we eat’ is so accurate. Every single day, your body uses whatever your eating in so many different ways; and it’s important to pay attention to and maintain awareness of what we’re feeding our body so we’re able to maintain energy and keep the body fat off. There are plenty of resources online that can help you track your calories and your macros, but everyone I personally speak with, and all of the bodybuilders I follow rant and rave about My Fitness Pal. The app is easy to use and free (there’s an upgrade option, but I’ve been using it for years and haven’t seen the need to upgrade).

12. Drink lots and lots of water.

Hydration is key on so many levels and there are so many benefits to drinking water, I don’t have room for it all here. I’ll leave it to this article by Medical News Today to explain at least 15 Benefits of Drinking Water. How much water should you drink? It’s really hard to drink too much, but here’s a calculation to know what minimum you should be striving for. You should also know that the hunger pangs you feel can be related to thirst. Drink some water and watch that hunger sensation disappear.

13. Eat Breakfast!

Eat anything as soon as you wake up. It doesn’t have to be a three course diner size meal, it can be anything so long as you put something in your body to re-activate your metabolism. The moment you wake up, your body has gone at least 10 hours without eating (depending on when you ate dinner and what time you wake up) and is now in a ‘fasted’ state. Your body thinks it’s starving and will begin slowing down your metabolism. So, eating something, anything ‘breaks’ the ‘fast’. It’s why it’s called ‘BREAKFAST’ because you’re ‘breaking the fast’. As mentioned before, skipping this most important meal will put your body in starvation mode. When your body is in starvation mode, it doesn’t know when the next meal will be, so it slows the metabolism down and hangs on to whatever you put into it next (which turns into body fat!). Plus, getting that boost in the morning will help your workout (if you go to the gym in the morning).

14. Be sure you have proper gym wear.

Comfortable gym wear is key. You’re about to put your body through rigorous and hopefully intense exercise designed to keep you healthy and shed the body fat. It’s important to wear gym clothes that are clean, comfortable, and fitting. Also, if your sneakers are more than 3 years old, it may be time to buy new ones.

15. Take a before picture and track your progress.

The picture is mostly for you, so, 60 days from now, if you think you’re not making progress and you’ve been working out and eating right almost every single day, you can check the picture, take a new one and make a side by side comparison to remind yourself how far you’ve come. But here’s where social media can be useful. Post the pic and announce to your friends what you’re doing. And then post a progress pic every 30 days. Get your squad cheering you on so you stay the course and stay inspired!

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can contact him for a free consultation by clicking HERE

An oldie but a goodie: Constant Action = Results – and how to stay inspired in life

New video on the well worn mantra: Constant Action = Results. I also cover in this video key tools to help you stay inspired in life!


Life Coach Tommy: Hey guys, Life Coach Tommy here, I just did my cardio workout and walking down Wilshire Boulevard, on this beautiful crisp sunny morning. Hope everyone had a great productive Monday, productive beginning of the week – and I am in front of the SABAN Oscar museum so I’m going to record this video really quick here because one of my aspirations is to be featured here.

Anyways, so I wanted to talk about this sort of cliche mantra of “Consistent Action = Results.” Basically, what this means for people is that – you know it follows in my own personal life – again most of these videos will talk about bodybuilding because that’s really my focus: bodybuilding, acting, obviously life coaching, but – Consistent Action = Results is – what I’ve seen in my own life – when it comes to acting just submitting to anything and everything I’m qualified for and the auditions do come because it’s consistent – I’m consistent with it. And with bodybuilding I get under the weights – I do it every week and I see results because I’m consistent with it.

Results rarely come from trying something a few days then stopping it – then trying it again – then stopping it – and trying it again and then stopping it. That doesn’t equal results. It also can be used in the sales world, in the executive setting that – you know if you’re coaching your team every single day and – you’re not trite in your coaching – you’re going to get results from your team. Same thing with sales. Your sales professionals – whenever they’re getting on the phone if they’re consistently nurturing their leads – they will get results.

Anyways just want to talk about that and the biggest thing of – you know the reason we’re not consistent is that we usually quit and it’s important to say inspired. And what I mean by that is just basically, there are many – thousands upon thousands of people, before you that have achieved what you want to achieve. Thousands! And it’s important to look at what they’ve done and how they’ve gotten to where they’ve gotten.

I look at Arnold Schwarzenegger, I look at Ron Coleman, I look at Jay Cutler, I look at Tom Hanks, I look at Tommy Lee Jones, I look at Tony Robbins – these are just a select few of the things I use to inspire me. But there are plenty of people that are in your profession that are accomplishing amazing things that you want to accomplish. Look at their lives, look at what they’ve done. Most of them weren’t that special – weren’t that unique. And if you look at most of their successes – it’s because they were consistent, it’s because they were committed – it’s because they followed the mantra – consistent action gave them results.

So, check that out. I’ll give you a homework assignment – most of my clients get homework assignments so here’s some free life coaching for you. Whatever your profession is – whether it’s acting, whether it’s bodybuilding, whether it’s – you’re an executive leader for a company, whether you’re a lender, whether you’re a realtor. Whatever function, whatever profession you’re in – or whatever profession you aspire to be – whatever level you aspire to be on. Wikipedia [or google] the people who have made it. Wikipedia [or google] the people who have gotten there. And see their lives – see what they did to accomplish their goals and you’d be surprised at what you’ll find. So that’s your homework assignment from life coach Tommy.

If you have any questions about this, as always, comment, send me a message, and, again, have a Happy Tuesday! Take care, bye.

END OF TRANSCRIPT: Life Coach Tommy can be reached here for a free consultation: Let’s Chat

Why people give up on everything so easily and never reach the next level to achieve success

New video coming soon about the top reason people quit and aren’t able to level up to ultimately obtain their life goals, transcribed below. Stay tuned!


Life Coach Tommy: Hey guys, Life Coach Tommy here. This might be a little long, we’ll see. I want to go into detail about why people give up on their goals so easily and so quickly. It’s now January 24th, we’re now nearing the end of the first month of 2020, and at this point, a lot of New Year’s Resolutions people had – they fall apart.

I’m at the gym – I think I mentioned this on another blog but at the gym, about two weeks – well, right after January 1st, the gym was crowded it was very hard to get on certain machines I had to improvise my workouts. And after about two weeks, right around January 15th, that crowd fizzled out.

What I wanted to share is that the reason – what I’ve learned and what I’ve studied and what I’ve heard – some of this comes from our friend Grant Cardone – huge salesperson, real estate mogul – anyways, he’s done a lot. But it also comes from Arnold Schwarzenegger.

The reason people give up on their goals is essentially: they underestimate the amount of work accomplishing that goal is going to take. And, through life coaching, I help people realize that, I help people understand that this is gonna take some patience – this is gonna take some micro-actions – this is gonna take some small steps every single day in order to see those macro-results.

Bodybuilding, for example, people see others at the gym, they see the big biceps, they see all this stuff – these impressive accomplishments other people have made and they don’t – they weren’t there seven years ago when that person wasn’t as built as he is today.

And, so, again, they underestimate the amount of patience, the amount of adversity, the cost that it’s gonna take to achieve those goals. A lot of that stuff comes from bodybuilding, but Arnold Schwarzenegger said that one of the ways – he had an interesting story about history – he said, “Imagine studying, imagine reading one hour of history every single day. And think about how much history you would learn in 365 hours.” – And it looks like I’ve got some sun coming in, so my lighting technique is not working today, so I’m gonna get really close.

So, to accomplish your goals it’s important to one, understand the amount of work that’s involved. Celebrate your successes. Again, I’ve mentioned this before, but you don’t go to the gym three to five days a week and eat healthy and NOT see some result it’s impossible. So when you see those results, when you lose two pounds, when your waist shrinks and your clothes are fitting just a little bit looser, celebrate those successes. And, again, have the patience. Accept that it’s gonna take a high level of patience to achieve these goals.

And, again, through life coach coaching, we go through this, we set the relation goals. I make sure that they have a very strong ‘Why’ and I make sure that my clients are accepting the fact that it’s gonna take some time. It’s gonna take some time to get this done. If my clients – after my first, after our client’s first session, my clients see really quickly how I work and, every single one of my clients, after the first session, they feel more centered, they feel more focused. I always see these ‘awakened moments’ where they didn’t realize how their self-loathing was affecting their daily activities. So, we focus a lot on making sure yourself love and focusing on self-love and self-care so that they can achieve their life goals.

And, what I explain to them up front, ‘look, your goals are not gonna happen in a month. You’re gonna achieve some level of success and we record those and we celebrate those and we make milestones and action items to celebrate those and acknowledge those, but the ultimate accomplishment of your goals is gonna take at least ninety days. And that goes with anything. That goes with sales, that goes with real estate, that goes with any sort of business you’re in. That takes, and, obviously, bodybuilding and weight loss and fitness. It takes ninety days, for not only for your brain to adapt to new activity and new action, but it also takes your body ninety days to adapt and accept that this is the new way of living.

It’s why, again, if you start taking a daily vitamin today – you’re not gonna feel or see any effects of that daily vitamin until ninety days into it.

So, anyways, I always ask my clients to commit with me, let’s do this for 90 days so I can show you how powerful this stuff is. So, anyways, it was only five and a half minutes, but I hope you’re having, I hope you have a productive Friday and you have planned a relaxing or productive weekend, depending on what you have going on and, sorry about the lighting, the sun came out. Usually, it’s been cloudy for probably the past month and a half. Anyways, Happy Friday everyone!

END OF TRANSCRIPT: Life Coach Tommy can be reached here for a free consultation: Let’s Chat

How to love yourself when you don’t know how and join the 2020 trend of Self-Care #selfcare

New video on self-care and self-love transcribed below.


Life Coach Tommy: Hey guys, Life Coach Tommy here. This will be a really quick video, but I wanted to give a quick update for those keeping track of my three and a half week set back. I’ve been in the gym now, I’m on week 4, and my strength is returning. I just finished doing chest, had some really good pumps. And had really good – getting back to the weight I’m used to lifting.

It also helped that I went to the Strongman Arnold Competition in Santa Monica this weekend, I actually got to see Arnold Schwarzenegger live which was actually pretty cool. And then there was a lot of strongmen, lifting heavy weights – there were five events.

Really inspirational, that’s another thing I always recommend just to do things – go to things that keep you inspired. This blog is more about self-care and self-love. I am really pleased with a trend that’s occurring for the year 2020 and that’s, #selfcare. Really really happy about that just as a life coach on my personal journey as a life coach to help people identify their needs first. Because identifying your needs first is going to help you help other people.

Here is the exercise for today I want to show you how to love yourself. There’s so much vitriol, so much negative energy in the world showing you how inferior you are if you pay attention to that. It’s very easy to see that. Right now I’m in a parking lot, about to go to my next life coaching session and I’m staring at a billboard of Ryan Reynolds in one of his movies. Now, I can easily compare myself to that. I’m an actor outside of life coaching – and I can say, ‘oh man, Ryan Reynolds, he’s so successful compared to what I’ve done.’ But, that doesn’t help me at all if I compare myself to Ryan Reynolds.

So, I have two exercises, one – are you a better person today than you were yesterday? I can only compare myself to who I was yesterday. I do not compare myself to anyone else in this world because we’re all on our own separate journeys. At this point in my life, I have not had the opportunities that Ryan Reynolds has had. I have not had the genetic structure that he is – to talk about superficial things. But, literally, I have not worked as hard as he has over the years to be in a position where I should be on any level envious of his success.

So, the other thing is, it’s really easy to focus on our weaknesses over our strengths. So, what I would like – here’s the exercise I would like you to do – think about your strengths – and ONLY your strengths and how you can make those things stronger and more prevalent in your life.

So today I want you to choose three of your strengths. Everyone’s got strengths, no matter how poorly you think of yourself you have strengths – things that you’re proud of. So think of three strengths – put them in the comment section if you want or write them down – get them out of our head.

Then identify ways in which you can use those three strengths as tools to better your life.

Anyways, I hope that’s helpful. If you like this, ‘like’ it share it with other people. And if you’re interested in Life Coaching reach out to me let’s talk, let’s see if it’s a good fit for you. Alright, have a good productive Monday and I hope you have an exciting positive week. Take care.

Ask “On what level will this work out for me?” Instead of “Will this work out for me?” New video


Life Coach Tommy: Hey guys, Life Coach Tommy here, hope you’re having a productive Friday and you had a productive week and are gearing up for a relaxing weekend or a productive weekend depending on what you’re doing this weekend.

I wanted to send a quick shout out to something very specific. And it has to do with my life coaching clients when – sometimes they establish a goal and they start achieving that goal and self-doubt starts coming in – negativity starts seeping in to their daily life. It could be external it could be from friends, family, or it could be internal. Side Note: internal negativity is the hardest to overcome and I focus a lot on coaching people through overcoming internal negativity.

But, the result of these negative forces, a question pops into their mind – it’s will this work out for me. And when we’re brought forth this question – am I really doing this – is this really worth it, will this work out for me? I’m able to help my clients and I encourage people to think this way instead of that way, and what I ask is that, instead of asking, “Will this work out for me?” Wouldn’t it be better to ask, “On what level will this work out for me?”

And, when I introduce this question into their life they start thinking about, instead of a black and white scenario where this either won’t work out for me or it will work out for me, that how much work do I need to put into this in order for it to work out for me.

So, I’m able to help my clients through life coaching to think that way instead of the other way. And, I give the example of fitness, and diet, and losing weight, and bodybuilding and what not. It’s literally the easiest comparison to give because the science of losing weight is super easy because – anyways I’m not going to go into that – but the science is easy – I’ve written several blogs on how to lose weight.

But, the thing about losing weight is that IF you go to the gym, IF you exercise, and IF you eat healthy, it is virtually impossible for that not to result in some sort of benefit.

Again – let’s say we have levels A, B, and C. If you are investing – let’s say C is the lowest, A is the highest – if you are investing C level of work into your diet and exercise, you’re still going to see results. You’re still going to feel better, you’re still gonna burn fat, you’re still gonna lose a little bit of weight, but not as much as if you did an A level of work where you’re going in and you’re doing hardcore you’re working out five days a week – like I do – THAT level of result, that level is much different than the C level.

And so, again, instead of asking yourself, will this work out for me, I encourage my clients to ask themselves, instead, “On what level will this work out for me?” Because, once again, it re-aligns their focus into how much work are they willing to put in to make this work.

Anyways, I hope you have a very productive Friday, and the biggest thing about the weekend is that it allows you to disconnect sometimes from the daily rituals of the week – so I do encourage you to take some time and meditate. And meditation is literally – doesn’t have to be anything surreal or metaphysical – but it’s literally just taking at least five minutes to breathe and focus on your breathe so that your brain, all the noise that happens, can quiet a little bit and you can seek a little bit of clarity, so here’s hoping you get a little bit of clarity over the weekend through five minutes of meditation – that’s a challenge for you. Have a wonderful weekend!

Changing your thoughts before changing behavior is better than vice versa – a video transcript

New video on changing your thinking before changing your behavior and the foundation I use in life coaching with WANTING something versus WILLING it into action.


Life Coach Tommy: Hey guys, Life Coach Tommy here, hope you had a great weekend, hope you’re ready for a productive week! Really quick, I want to talk about two things: I want to talk about the idea of wanting something and the idea of willing it into action.

I just did chest this morning – just got done with the gym – for those keep tracking I was really sick in December and I received a huge setback but I’m getting my strength back and I’m getting back to the numbers I’m used to – I think probably by the end of next week, I’ll be there again.

So, there’s this idea of wanting something versus willing it into action. What I mean by that is, whatever you want in life, if you want to earn $10,000,000 – for example – let’s reach for the stars – if you want $10,000,000 or if you want to earn $10,000,000 – if you want to be in a financial position for $10,000,000, and you say, “I want $10,000,000.” What you’ve done is that you’ve literally just created a want. It’s all you’ve done. Like, “I WANT $10,000,000!” And if we go metaphysical, you’re telling the Universe “I want $10,000,000.” And the Universe responds saying, okay, great, I acknowledge, you want $10,000,000, and, typically, nothing will happen.

But, when you change your mentality to: “I will earn $10,000,000.” Something changes in your mind and the Universe takes note – like, this guy’s willing something into action and you actually take things, you actually start thinking, well, how is that possible, what can I do – you make a commitment to yourself.

Now, $10,000,000 for anyone, in this world in today’s age, in this country, the United States, is attainable. But, for something a bit more short-term and I use the word ‘realistic’ (i.e. in the next month or so) we look at fitness. If you want to lose 10lbs in 2 months, that’s great. But if you say that you will lose 10lbs in 2 months and you commit to the action necessary to make that happen, it’s more than likely to happen because it’s a positive psychological technique to WILL something into action than to want it.

This is something I focus on especially when it comes to business coaching and taking my client’s business to the next level. So, anything you want today – anything you plan on achieving this week, any goals that you have, any needs you have, any wants you have for this week. See what happens to your mentality when you say that “I WILL do this.”

If you WANT to reach a goal. If you WANT to hit some specific numbers. If you WANT to start an action plan for losing weight – see what happens when you say that you WILL do it, see what happens to your mentality.

The second thing I wanted to talk about, and this is going to be super quick, the idea of changing behavior or changing thoughts. There is a long thought process that as long as you pursue the action, then your mentality will change.

Unfortunately, that’s actually inaccurate because, if you change your behavior and your mind is still not changed, that behavior that you’re trying to change, that patterned behavior, is highly likely not going to be consistent – it’s not going to – you’re not going to stick to that action.

But, if you can change your thoughts first – and this is parallel to what I talked about before with the want vs will, if you change your thoughts and you really commit and you change your mentality and you believe in yourself and you believe you can achieve things – good things, great things – THEN you’re behavior will change.

So, look at your thoughts first, change the way you think and that will change your behavior. Trying to change your behavior is good, but those who think that just doing the actions and doing the stuff is going to change your mentality – unfortunately it doesn’t necessarily work out that way – because, again, while it can last, you’re going to still have those thoughts in your head, those negative thoughts, that negative mentality and the behavior you’ve worked so hard to change – it’s not going to change.

Anyways, if there’s a subject you want me talk about in these videos, if there’s something you have a question about, let me know. Send me a message, send me a comment, and I’ll recognize you by name – if you want, if you don’t, let me know. But I’ll recognize you and I’ll respond to your comment via this video I’m posting. So, anyways, I hope you have a terrific productive Monday and a productive week.

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