A quick note on relationship coaching

As a life coach, I have had clients who spend a considerable amount of time talking about their husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner/question mark and trying to understand the decisions their significant other is making that could be hurting the relationship.

My role in this common scenario, is to help my clients understand how to manage their expectations and be a stronger communicator with themselves (which will, in turn, help them communicate better with their partner). When we work on the client’s relationship, our main focus is on them and how they are communicating and the multitude of communication tricks they can use that will allow their partner to communicate in return and help them understand the decisions they are making.

Essentially, I give my clients the tools so that they can figure it out on their own. Without having their partner present in their session, I couldn’t (nor should I) try to explain their partner’s actions. Through relationship coaching, though, we can figure out what needs to be added to get them there. It’s the same method I use in non-relationship coaching, when helping my clients figure out how to deal with any external force affecting their lives which seems beyond their control. The secret here is that the answer is inside your heart 🙂 and I can help you find it.

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What is the magical formula for losing weight?

There actually is a magical formula for losing weight, but it’s by far not an easy one to solve. The challenge in the formula is making sure each variable is attempted with equal force. Here it is, the magical formula:

x(a+b)=c

Now, if we remember basic algebra, we know that x has to influence a and b to equal c. What do these variables stand for? Here you go:

C = sexy body

Or any type of body healthier than the one you have now lol it doesn’t have to be a sexy one (although who doesn’t want to be sexy?)

So how do we solve for C?

A = Diet

Remember, when I work with my life coaching clients who want to lose weight, I don’t ever make them “go on a diet”. The word diet simply means “the way one eats”. So, I ask my clients to change their diet or be aware of their diet and how it influences the daily operation of their physical body. Essentially, “we are what we eat” is one of the truest cliche phrases out there. If you’re eating high volumes of sugar, sodium, unhealthy fats, or processed flour, your essence is not going to feel very positive.

B = Fitness

Fitness doesn’t have to be this hardcore regiment at the gym but you must get your body moving. Walking, jogging, swimming, weight training, anything that gets the body moving and burning calories will help you lose weight.

Again, these two variables must be combined in order to maintain weight loss. When we start the life coaching process for losing weight, I never start with the workout routine. My first question is, what are you eating? My process will introduce healthy macros into your system to get your body in a healthier state before it starts working out. If you simply went to the gym after years of unhealthy eating, your work out is going to be a less than positive experience (it’s no wonder so many people quit early in their workout process!)

And now for x, the most important variable…without it, it’s impossible to combine A and B.

x = mind and heart

The brain is the most important muscle in the body. It is THE muscle you must work out before working out any other muscle in your body. If your mind’s not into it, your body will not follow. And your heart, essentially that emotional part of your brain that commits to why you are losing weight and maintains the passion and intensity in your work outs.

So, the magical formula for losing weight is better read as, diet plus fitness, multiplied by the mind and the heart equals sexy body 🙂

How do we work out the brain to get there? That’s where deep life coaching comes in to play. Let’s chat and see if we can do this for you!

What is the difference between a psychiatrist, a therapist, and a Life Coach?

This is asked a lot and the differences are huge! But to simplify it, here is what each profession works on:

The Psychiatrist: While a psychiatrist does have a deep understanding of the mechanics of the mind, their focus is more on the physiological chemistry of your body and how it affects your mental well-being.

The Therapist: Their focus is completely on the mind and how the past and present behavior has affected its mental state.

The Life Coach (that’s me!): A life coach’s focus is on the heart and empowering that heart to move the entire body forward into the future through self-love.

Could a client benefit from having all three in their life? If needed, absolutely. But my goal is to help you strengthen your heart so that we can work from the bottom up and (hopefully) heighten your mind to its full emotional clarity!

The present, the past, the future – our life teachers

As a life coach I can promise you one thing: If you’re able to use the past only as a teacher and a barometer to show you how far you’ve come; if you can use the future only as a sail to guide you and help build your vision; if you can do that and stay in the present, let go, and hang on to the steering wheel of your sail boat of life – life will not magically become easier, it will become easier to deal with. You will be granted amazing power to steer the course of your life and accomplish your goals. It is through this flowing relationship between past, present, and future that will help empower you and help you achieve tremendous things.

You are the Captain of your ship, as your life coach, I can help you as a navigator. That is, essentially, the best example of the life coach relationship I have with my clients. Let’s help you charter your timeline and course through the winds and storms life can bring us!

Life

Life is not great. Life does not suck. Life is neither challenging, nor easy. Life is not beautiful…nor ugly. Life is not glorious. Life is not boring. Life…just…is. A flowing forward moving current that we are blessed and condemned to constantly experience its present. The future is not here. The past is gone. The only thing guaranteed is this present moment. The future will never occur exactly how it is imagined. The past was neither as good nor as bad as it is remembered. The only thing reliable is this present moment – already fleeting. Appreciate it as much as you can.

As your life coach, it is my duty to help you appreciate the present. Only in the present NOW can we do our best work and empower ourselves.

How many goals should I set for myself?

I’m a Life Coach in Los Angeles and my goal setting approach with my clients is two fold. 

First, we establish 25 goals. My experience has shown that this really gets my clients’ juices flowing in thinking of everything they might want to improve in their lives. Once we’ve completed the list of 25 goals, I then have them select the top five – the top five immediate goals they want to see affecting their lives. 

Once we’ve selected the top five, I ask them to forget the other twenty and to put all of their resources and energy in to making those top five goals a reality. 

What I’ve seen is that, it’s easier for my clients to put more energy into five goals, then 25. Focusing on twenty five goals is overwhelming for my clients and they tend to be easily discouraged when, typically, they aren’t accomplishing even one because their energy is spread too thin. 

Once one of the five goals has been accomplished, we celebrate, and, like a six shooter, we select one of the remaining twenty and reload the the top five list. 

My clients have enjoyed incredible results thanks to this approach. 

There is a quote by Confucius that I lend my clients when talking about goals and spreading ourselves too thin: 

“The man who chases two rabbits, catches neither.”

Ron Swanson from the TV show “Parks and Rec” also has a very profound (and somewhat crass) quote:

“It’s better to whole ass one thing then to half ass two things.”

How many goals have you set for yourself this year? How many have you accomplished?

A harsh truth about fad diets, specifically, is Keto good for you?

If you’ve read my blogs before, or watched any of my videos, it’d come to you as no surprise that I consistently deliver the message “don’t go on a diet.” In order to change your lifestyle and eating habits, you need to first establish a very powerful ‘Why?’ and then commit to that ‘Why’ wholeheartedly.

There is a recent fad diet that has become popular (and extremely effective in delivering amazing short term results) called Keto. Essentially, putting your body in a state of Ketosis by eliminating one very important macro-nutrient, carbohydrates…please read this extremely in depth and tongue-in-cheek article on the consequences and pitfalls of not only the Keto diet, but fad dieting in general. I hope it helps spread the message that changing your diet and lifestyle is much more effective long-term than ‘going on a diet’.

https://www.thrillist.com/eat/nation/is-keto-diet-bad-for-you-ketogenic-side-effects