Changing your thoughts before changing behavior is better than vice versa – a video transcript

New video on changing your thinking before changing your behavior and the foundation I use in life coaching with WANTING something versus WILLING it into action.

TRANSCRIPT:

Life Coach Tommy: Hey guys, Life Coach Tommy here, hope you had a great weekend, hope you’re ready for a productive week! Really quick, I want to talk about two things: I want to talk about the idea of wanting something and the idea of willing it into action.

I just did chest this morning – just got done with the gym – for those keep tracking I was really sick in December and I received a huge setback but I’m getting my strength back and I’m getting back to the numbers I’m used to – I think probably by the end of next week, I’ll be there again.

So, there’s this idea of wanting something versus willing it into action. What I mean by that is, whatever you want in life, if you want to earn $10,000,000 – for example – let’s reach for the stars – if you want $10,000,000 or if you want to earn $10,000,000 – if you want to be in a financial position for $10,000,000, and you say, “I want $10,000,000.” What you’ve done is that you’ve literally just created a want. It’s all you’ve done. Like, “I WANT $10,000,000!” And if we go metaphysical, you’re telling the Universe “I want $10,000,000.” And the Universe responds saying, okay, great, I acknowledge, you want $10,000,000, and, typically, nothing will happen.

But, when you change your mentality to: “I will earn $10,000,000.” Something changes in your mind and the Universe takes note – like, this guy’s willing something into action and you actually take things, you actually start thinking, well, how is that possible, what can I do – you make a commitment to yourself.

Now, $10,000,000 for anyone, in this world in today’s age, in this country, the United States, is attainable. But, for something a bit more short-term and I use the word ‘realistic’ (i.e. in the next month or so) we look at fitness. If you want to lose 10lbs in 2 months, that’s great. But if you say that you will lose 10lbs in 2 months and you commit to the action necessary to make that happen, it’s more than likely to happen because it’s a positive psychological technique to WILL something into action than to want it.

This is something I focus on especially when it comes to business coaching and taking my client’s business to the next level. So, anything you want today – anything you plan on achieving this week, any goals that you have, any needs you have, any wants you have for this week. See what happens to your mentality when you say that “I WILL do this.”

If you WANT to reach a goal. If you WANT to hit some specific numbers. If you WANT to start an action plan for losing weight – see what happens when you say that you WILL do it, see what happens to your mentality.

The second thing I wanted to talk about, and this is going to be super quick, the idea of changing behavior or changing thoughts. There is a long thought process that as long as you pursue the action, then your mentality will change.

Unfortunately, that’s actually inaccurate because, if you change your behavior and your mind is still not changed, that behavior that you’re trying to change, that patterned behavior, is highly likely not going to be consistent – it’s not going to – you’re not going to stick to that action.

But, if you can change your thoughts first – and this is parallel to what I talked about before with the want vs will, if you change your thoughts and you really commit and you change your mentality and you believe in yourself and you believe you can achieve things – good things, great things – THEN you’re behavior will change.

So, look at your thoughts first, change the way you think and that will change your behavior. Trying to change your behavior is good, but those who think that just doing the actions and doing the stuff is going to change your mentality – unfortunately it doesn’t necessarily work out that way – because, again, while it can last, you’re going to still have those thoughts in your head, those negative thoughts, that negative mentality and the behavior you’ve worked so hard to change – it’s not going to change.

Anyways, if there’s a subject you want me talk about in these videos, if there’s something you have a question about, let me know. Send me a message, send me a comment, and I’ll recognize you by name – if you want, if you don’t, let me know. But I’ll recognize you and I’ll respond to your comment via this video I’m posting. So, anyways, I hope you have a terrific productive Monday and a productive week.

Click here to contact Life Coach Tommy: Let’s Chat

A quick article written by Living Social on my journey in how I became a Life Coach

Life Coach Tommy has a perceptive insight into human psychology that is uncanny, offering simple, grounded solutions to deeply complex problems. He brings both knowledge and wisdom to his coaching sessions, willing to share his own successes and failures which allow anyone to relate.

16 years ago, after experiencing an unstable childhood, Life Coach Tommy put himself on a journey to discover what it was that we were missing in our daily life that we could use to improve the Human Condition. He found that gaining self-empowerment and setting positive goals was a start.

The positive feedback and knowing that he’s helping individuals, some of whom have lived their entire life with a negative mind-set, bring positive permanent growth to their life is the one thing Life Coach Tommy loves about his job.

The best reaction Life Coach Tommy has ever gotten from a client was when an entrepreneur, after an entire weekend full of team building and leadership exercises for her staff, said that, without his empowering guidance, the weekend wouldnt have turned out as positive as it did.

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can contact him for a free consultation by clicking HERE

Do I need to see a life coach near me or can I have a life coach from anywhere?

When I’m contacted to be someone’s life coach, they are often extremely close to where I reside, in Sherman Oaks, CA.

While it is extremely convenient for face to face interaction, there are some clients that also contact me from the East Coast as well as the Pacific Northwest. As it isn’t financially feasible all the time for either of us to travel to each other on a weekly basis, we are able to do some great work with modern technology, i.e. FaceTime or Skype.

Gone are the days where life coaching is done just over the phone. With FaceTime and/or Skype I am able to offer the same valuable encouragement and goal-setting practices that are experienced through face to face interaction.

So, no matter where you are, whether you’re here in Los Angeles, in my Valley neighborhood, or on the other side of the country, I’m more than excited to help you fulfill your goals and live a satisfying life.

Also, another important question is how to find a life coach and not just, in general, but, how to find a life coach that’s the best fit for you. The basic foundation of finding a life coach that’s right for you is, overall, that gut instinct – how do they make you feel. Do you feel inspired? Motivated? Heard? These are important factors to consider when you find a life coach and connect. Obviously you can easily find a life coach near you by doing a quick google or Yelp search. But get them on the phone, chat with them, and feel them out.

This is why I never take a life coach client unless we’ve a had a FREE 20 minute session that not only allows me to discern your level of commitment to achieving your goals, but also so that you can discern MY level of commitment to guiding you in achieving your goals. We are both, essentially, feeling each other out! I cannot take a client unless I am convinced they are 100% committed to applying the tools and resources I will provide through life coaching.

Quora Q & A, mostly about diet and fitness

I recently started answering questions as a Life Coach on Quora and received an overwhelming response to answer more questions. I’m pleased that there are a lot of people interested in learning more about how to eat healthy and very specific work out routines. While my focus is more on how to establish goals and fulfill them, I have over 20 years of practical knowledge in diet and fitness and am more than willing to share my wisdom. Here is a selection of specific questions and answers, to submit your question on Quora feel free to visit me here @ My Quora Profile

Quora Q & A:

Does healthy weight loss improve your mood?

If we’re talking about consuming healthy macros in conjunction with a strong fitness routine, absolutely. There is scientific evidence that consuming healthy macros while getting that heart to pump can improve overall mood immensely!

What is the most important aspect of one’s diet in terms of building a six pack?

Great question, and it’s a relatively simple answer. The most important aspect of one’s diet of building a six pack is keeping your body in a hypo-caloric state In conjunction with building the muscles of the abdominal region. In other words, the calories you put in should be less than the calories you’re burning (it also helps if those calories are solid macros (i.e. avoid too much processed sugar, sodium, and saturated fat)).

How do you get your ex-boyfriend back even though he has a girlfriend?

The best thing is to ask yourself whether or not he is worth your attention when his attention is not on you. Would it be better to have someone in your life whose sole devotion is toward you?

What sabotages your diet?

There are too many things to mention here, but the biggest thing that can really sabotage your diet is not sticking to one! 🙂

I want to start strength training but it seems complex and expensive. Do you have any advice for me? 

Depending on where you live, a gym membership is only around $30/month. Outside of that, it’s not too expensive to make sure you’re eating healthy in conjunction with intense training. At the end of the day, it really depends on your goals. If your aim is to compete on a professional level, yes, it can get pricey (I currently ingest up to 3000 calories a day to maintain my gains). However, if you just want to get stronger, there are plenty of inexpensive options to help maintain a solid strength training diet. I highly recommend watching a crap ton of YouTube videos on strength training. My favorites are Athlean, Jeff Nippard, and Fouad Abiad. Best of luck, brah! 

How do I keep my muscles hard and in shape for a longer time?

The easy answer is consistent training and sticking to your macros. If you get off track however and your muscles soften, don’t be dismayed. Once you’ve built the muscle it’s easier to get it back and stay harder longer…again, if you stick to it.

Should a low carb diet be temporary or permanent?

Depends on how low you wanna go and your goals. If you want quick short term weight loss (and don’t mind gaining it all back later) go for temporary. But, overall, any sort of eating behavior should have some level of permanence. It also depends on your activity level on any given day. Healthy carbs provide a solid source of energy, so if you’re doing heavy cardio or heavy weight training, be sure to get your carbs in to sustain the energy. But if you’re staying inside all day and not doing anything, you won’t need as many carbs.

What’s the most common excuse people give for not getting abs?

Believe it or not but the most common excuse people give for not getting abs is that they don’t do ab workouts enough. The problem with this excuse is that it’s highly inaccurate. You could do hundreds of crunches every day, but if it’s not followed by cardio and a good diet, the abs will never show. The most common legit excuse, though, is simply eating too many calories and not burning it off.

How can I change to a healthier diet and start training?

The easy answer is: start eating healthy and train 🙂 but the answer I teach my clients is to start with why do you want to eat healthier and start training? The science is easy – and the information on how to do it is out there, but getting and staying motivated is the real reason I believe you’re asking this question and it starts with ‘Why?’

If you have removed carbs from your diet, how long is it safe to not eat any, and what is a good substitute?

Unfortunately, carbs are the only good substitute for carbs. There are a lot of alternatives for short term energy, but to get what carbs give you, you’ll need to eat more of those alternatives (which will involve ingesting more calories). After about 2–4 days of no carbs, your body will enter Ketosis and it will start burning fat for energy. I’ll defer to this article for all the risks of being in Ketosis: 7 Dangers of Going Keto

Should I take BCAA’s or is there enough in my whey protein shake?

It’s not that there are enough in your whey protein shake, it’s more for the results you want and understanding how BCAA’s work differently than just whey protein. If all you want is to get stronger and a little toned, then, yes, there are enough in your whey protein shake to get those results. But if you want massive growth and increased strength, add BCAA’s and Casein protein (naturally found in cow milk, but there are also supplements). Another way to look at it is that BCAA’s are a tool while whey protein is a source. Really simplified, BCAAs help inject protein straight to your muscles that otherwise might be digested. Another thing about Casein protein: it works on your muscles longer than whey protein (even while you’re asleep).

While working out to build muscle, should I try to keep my protein intake as high as possible?

If you’re trying to build muscle, you should, at minimum, be eating 1g of protein per lb of body weight. Eating as much as possible wouldn’t be conducive because you’d be adding extra calories to your diet which could turn into body fat and hide your gains.

Can I find a girlfriend if I don’t like to cuss, drink alcohol or go to clubs?

Yes. Find the girl who doesn’t cuss, drink alcohol, or go to clubs – they’re out there, I’ve met them 😉

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

How owning your Response to an Event will affect your Outcome immensely

In the extremely essential book The Success Principles, authors Jack Canfield and Janet Switzer taught me a valuable lesson. A valuable equation that I push my clients to follow and include in their daily life. This equation is: E + R = O. As the title of this blog would suggest, E = Event, R = Response, and O = Outcome. If an Event happens, your Response to that event will influence the overall Outcome. My biggest take away from this book was, controlling the outcome to an event is one’s choice and this is accomplished by maintaining awareness of one’s response to that event, no matter what.

Simplified, if a negative event happens and your response is negative, what sort of outcome do you suppose would occur? If a positive event happens and your response is negative, what do you think the outcome will be? If you’re catching on, then you can probably figure out what the outcome would be if a negative event happens and your response was positive. What sort of outcome do you think that would create?

Below is your answer sheet, message me and let me know if your answers were in line:

-(E) + -(R) = -(O)

+(E) + -(R) = -(O)

+(E) + +(R) = +(O)

Self-Empowerment is the ultimate result when one lives through that last equation. I help my clients understand how to take responsibility in their responses. It is very easy to blame others or any other external factor when something negative happens, but self-empowerment can be achieved when my clients are able to take full responsibility for their reaction and not lend power to the multitude of external events that can affect our life.

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

Asking yourself the important questions to help lead you to Self-Care and Self-Love

How are you doing today? Really. Think about it. How are you?

This question is one of the most asked questions in the United States mainly as a life script “transaction”, ‘How are you today?’ ‘Oh, fine.’ It’s the salutation that most of us go through each day. It’s also the most common question that will illicit a disingenuous or dishonest response. Because…unfortunately…most of us…most of the time…are not ‘fine’.

So…again, how are you, really? Be honest with yourself.

This is the beginning of self love – knowing and understanding that you are not okay.

The next step is knowing that you can change it. Understanding that self love is possible through self-care.

When’s the last time you’ve done something truly for yourself?

What are some things you can do to make some time for yourself?

Here’s a really deep question and I’ll end it here, do you truly love yourself?

If your answer is ‘no’, or ‘I don’t know’…is loving yourself important to you? What can you do to help you love yourself?

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

To what level do you really want to succeed?

By the time my clients have made the decision to hire me as their life coach I learn that, many times, the pursuit of their goals has been halted by one singular question, “Will this work out for me?” And because they couldn’t give a clear answer to that question, their goals were not pursued.

This question doesn’t have to be so black and white. Instead of asking, “Will this work out for me?” Ask, “On what level will this work out for me?”

Crazy thing about this world is that there really isn’t an on/off scenario where, if an individual pursues X it won’t be successful on ANY level… For example, it is virtually impossible for someone to start eating healthy and going to the gym and NOT experience SOME SORT of improvement… If you eat healthy and/or if you go to the gym…you WILL experience some sort of result.

Through coaching, I’m able to show my clients that the level something works out for someone is usually dependent upon how much work they’re willing to put into it and how committed they are to that goal.

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE