How to handle toxic relationships

TRANSCRIPT:

Life Coach Tommy: Hey guys Life Coach Tommy here, Happy Monday! I hope you are looking forward to today and I hope that this week is a productive week. Many people are coming back to their ‘real lives’ and I hope you are having a productive one.

I just went to the gym and, very crowded, January 6th, everyone’s coming back to reality, everyone’s going back to they gym – it’s cool to see everyone there.

Really quick, what I wanted to talk about in this video was relationships. As a life coach, I do focus on relationship coaching and I wanted to talk about specifically the negative or toxic relationships we have in our lives.

Essentially, I wanted to share with you a personal story to give an example: I have worked extremely hard, I would say, the past thirteen or so years to make sure that the people that I associate myself with are positive and supportive. And what I mean by that is that I don’t have time or energy in my personal life to share my time and energy with people who want to complain about negative or toxic things that they have no control over and tell me, personally, that I can’t do something.

Just recently I had an acquaintance you know he tries really hard to be my friend but unfortunately I cannot associate myself with him because recently he told me that I can’t be a bodybuilder. He literally was very persistent because he ‘cared about my health’ and about me he was very persistent in telling me: ‘don’t pursue bodybuilding’ – ‘don’t try to compete’ – ‘don’t do this’ – ‘you’re too old’ you’ll never make it as an actor – I’ve already made it as an actor – I’ve already made it as an actor, but anyway that’s beside the point. He basically was very persistent in saying don’t do this – it’s not good for you.

The unfortunate thing – fortunately for me, but unfortunately for him, because of his toxic passion, because of his conviction towards bringing me down and not you know encouraging me – that’s a relationship I can no longer be a part of and it sucks.

For me personally, my decision is to cut that relationship off. Personally, I already have questions, not negativity, but self-doubt in my own mind that I coach myself out of and I confront every single day. I don’t need that from the outside world. I need to keep positive people around me.

The reason I share that story is that I encourage you to encourage positive environments. Now, I’m never going to tell anyone or coach anyone to let go of a toxic relationship – that is a decision you must make. But I do encourage you, as I did, communicate with this person or these people that are negative and say, ‘Listen, I understand where you’re coming from, but it’s not helpful to me.’ And if they’re not receptive, if they’re not receiving that, then it’s up to you whether or not you want to continue that relationship.

Again, it is possible to have those people in your lives as long as you manage the communication, if you manage what they’re saying to you – but you don’t have to. And I would really encourage you to one) if you don’t want to cut them out of your life, which is okay, communicate with them and let them know that their negativity is not healthy for the relationship that you have.

And, sometimes it changes their behavior, with this person this personal example – it wasn’t changing their behavior – I did let him know that I’ve been on this path for a very long and there is absolutely nothing he can say to discourage that path. So, yeah, that was the end of that relationship.

Anyways, hope you’re having a great Monday. And, again, in conclusion just be aware of the relationships you have in your life. Because I know from personal experience that if you have – I mean just imagine psychologically if you have nothing but positivity around you, you can accomplish really good things.

If you have any questions about what I’ve said if you like what I said, like it, share it. And if you’re interested in Life Coaching reach out to me CLICK HERE we’ll talk and see if it’s a good fit for you.