A quick note on relationship coaching

As a life coach, I have had clients who spend a considerable amount of time talking about their husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner/question mark and trying to understand the decisions their significant other is making that could be hurting the relationship.

My role in this scenario, is to help you understand how to manage your expectations and be a stronger communicator with yourself (which will in turn help you communicate better with your partner). When we work on your relationship, our main focus is on you and how you are communicating and communication tricks you can use that will allow your partner to communicate in return and help you understand the decisions they are making.

Essentially, I will give you the tools so that you can figure it out on your own. Without having your partner present in your session, I couldn’t (nor should I) even try to explain your partner’s actions. Through relationship coaching, though, we can figure out what needs to be added to get you there. It’s the same method I use in non-relationship coaching, when helping my clients figure out how to deal with any external force affecting their lives which seems beyond their control. The secret here is that the answer is inside your heart 🙂 and I can help you find it.

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What is the magical formula for losing weight?

There actually is a magical formula for losing weight, but it’s by far not an easy one to solve. The challenge in the formula is making sure each variable is attempted with equal force. Here it is, the magical formula:

x(a+b)=c

Now, if we remember basic algebra, we know that x has to influence a and b to equal c. What do these variables stand for? Here you go:

C = sexy body

Or any type of body healthier than the one you have now lol it doesn’t have to be a sexy one (although who doesn’t want to be sexy?)

So how do we solve for C?

A = Diet

Remember, when I work with my life coaching clients who want to lose weight, I don’t ever make them “go on a diet”. The word diet simply means “the way one eats”. So, I ask my clients to change their diet or be aware of their diet and how it influences the daily operation of their physical body. Essentially, “we are what we eat” is one of the truest cliche phrases out there. If you’re eating high volumes of sugar, sodium, unhealthy fats, or processed flour, your essence is not going to feel very positive.

B = Fitness

Fitness doesn’t have to be this hardcore regiment at the gym but you must get your body moving. Walking, jogging, swimming, weight training, anything that gets the body moving and burning calories will help you lose weight.

Again, these two variables must be combined in order to maintain weight loss. When we start the life coaching process for losing weight, I never start with the workout routine. My first question is, what are you eating? My process will introduce healthy macros into your system to get your body in a healthier state before it starts working out. If you simply went to the gym after years of unhealthy eating, your work out is going to be a less than positive experience (it’s no wonder so many people quit early in their workout process!)

And now for x, the most important variable…without it, it’s impossible to combine A and B.

x = mind and heart

The brain is the most important muscle in the body. It is THE muscle you must work out before working out any other muscle in your body. If your mind’s not into it, your body will not follow. And your heart, essentially that emotional part of your brain that commits to why you are losing weight and maintains the passion and intensity in your work outs.

So, the magical formula for losing weight is better read as, diet plus fitness, multiplied by the mind and the heart equals sexy body 🙂

How do we work out the brain to get there? That’s where deep life coaching comes in to play. Let’s chat and see if we can do this for you!

What is the difference between a psychiatrist, a therapist, and a Life Coach?

This is asked a lot and the differences are huge! But to simplify it, here is what each profession works on:

The Psychiatrist: While a psychiatrist does have a deep understanding of the mechanics of the mind, their focus is more on the physiological chemistry of your body and how it affects your mental well-being.

The Therapist: Their focus is completely on the mind and how the past has affected its mental state.

The Life Coach (that’s me!): A life coach’s focus is on the heart and empowering that heart to move the entire body forward into the future through self-love.

Could a client benefit from having all three in their life? If needed, absolutely. But my goal is to help you strengthen your heart so that we can work from the bottom up and (hopefully) heighten your mind to its full emotional clarity!

Another life coaching blog on diet and fitness

Scroll down to hear the seven-minute podcast recorded in my car that goes over the essential points in this blog.

As mentioned in previous life coaching blogs, the most popular goal amongst my life coaching clients is losing weight. Sometimes, losing weight quickly. What I want to cover in this quick blog is the importance of committing to wholesale change. Avoid the word diet (which is perceived, whether you know it or not, as something temporary) and focus on a sustainable goal.

Over a decade, I’ve studied health and nutrition to use in my own fitness routines and there have been A LOT of popular diets. Most popularly called ‘fad diets’. Here are some essential and important points to remember when realizing this goal of losing weight:

  • Avoid fad diets. If your eating style has a name attached to it (e.g. Atkins, Keto, South Beach), you’re on a fad diet. While these diets give tremendous results in a short period of time, this translates to short-lived and isn’t sustainable.
  • When changing your eating habits, decrease, do not eliminate. If chocolate has been a regular part of your diet, suddenly eliminating chocolate will make your life extremely uncomfortable and you will eventually go back to eating it (sometimes, initially, in larger quantities than you were before!).
  • The biologically need to consume important nutrients (e.g. carbohydrates, good fats, dairy vitamins) is more powerful than your willpower. Eliminating an important nutrient from your eating habits isn’t sustainable (or healthy!).
  • If you lose 20 pounds in a month through a fad diet, look forward to gaining that weight back within the next few months. Whatever behavior was used to lose that weight will be corrected by your body’s instinctual need (fad diets are also often called yo-yo diets because your weight goes up and down in short periods of time).
  •  Commit to slow and steady consistent change to gain long-term results.
  • Increase activity, identify and decrease unhealthy sources of calories.

Here’s the podcast going into more detail on the above points, enjoy!

 

Losing Weight Part 3

It’s such a common goal, it gets three separate blogs. Health and nutrition will actually get a lot of attention as, without it, achieving other goals becomes more challenging than they could be if health were more under control.

Losing Weight is actually extremely simple, as it’s basic foundation is driven through static scientific physiology. Essentially, if you do A, you will get B. There is no mystery or magic behind it. The weight loss challenge exists due to the fact that we live in a culture that pushes us to consume all kinds of delicious food. Overcoming the psychological temptation is the key to immersing yourself in the science that will create weight loss.

Here are the three simple keys to losing weight and feeling great:

1. Calorie count

Everyone has a minimum calorie count that will trigger weight loss. You’ll have to figure out your own based on age and height.

2. Micronutrients

Eating 1000 calories of pizza vs eating 1000 calories of carrots will administer the same weight loss results. However, you won’t feel great in either situation…

3. Fitness

This doesn’t mean, essentially, sweating it out at the gym every single day. Fitness could be just getting your heart to pump blood through your veins for 20 minutes at a faster pace than it normally would.

And that’s it. Calorie count, micronutrients, and fitness. So simple, yet so hard to commit to.

So how do we commit to it? Well, that requires intensive goal setting and establishing a powerful WHY, which a life coach can help with.

Communication IS key

The very first thing I look into when starting a relationship with a life coaching client is their communication skills. I assess where they are in their life when it comes to two extremely important avenues of communication: the way they communicate with the people around them, and, most importantly, the way they communicate with themselves.

The second part is where we dig deep, for if we aren’t starting off with positive communication with self, we aren’t going to get anywhere.

It is so important to develop a positive relationship with self. If you aren’t developing a positive relationship with yourself, it is virtually impossible to have a positive relationship with anyone else in your life.

Once you’ve learned to love yourself, you can genuinely express and communicate positively with others and you’ll be surprised by how much easier it will be to fulfill your goals.

Today, use this Monday to motivate yourself into positive self-love. If you’ve damaged the relationship with self, take time, be patient, but start today by looking at yourself in the mirror and appreciating the positive strengths you do have.

Want vs Will

When I first speak with my life coaching clients, our focus is aligned toward what they want out of life, and what they think they need to change in order to make their lives more fulfilling.

And each time my clients say they ‘WANT’ something or they ‘WANT’ to be something, I ask if they’re committed enough to that idea to shift their focus and say that they WILL have it or they WILL be it.

Whenever you say ‘I WANT to be a millionaire.’ The Universe takes note and creates it for you. The WANT is created and nothing else.

But when you say you WILL be a millionaire, the universe takes note of that as well. Suddenly, your inner psychology takes control and starts constructing paths on how to get there.

Once my clients are committed to what they WILL become or have, we are then able to focus on the next step and lay out a path of HOW.

Don’t be a ‘wannabe’, commit, make a decision and say what you WILL become, what you WILL have, what you WILL do and the Universe will take note.