Do I need to see a life coach near me or can I have a life coach from anywhere?

When I’m contacted to be someone’s life coach, they are often extremely close to where I reside, in Sherman Oaks, CA.

While it is extremely convenient for face to face interaction, there are some clients that also contact me from the East Coast as well as the Pacific Northwest. As it isn’t financially feasible all the time for either of us to travel to each other on a weekly basis, we are able to do some great work with modern technology, i.e. FaceTime or Skype.

Gone are the days where life coaching is done just over the phone. With FaceTime and/or Skype I am able to offer the same valuable encouragement and goal-setting practices that are experienced through face to face interaction.

So, no matter where you are, whether you’re here in Los Angeles, in my Valley neighborhood, or on the other side of the country, I’m more than excited to help you fulfill your goals and live a satisfying life.

Also, another important question is how to find a life coach and not just, in general, but, how to find a life coach that’s the best fit for you. The basic foundation of finding a life coach that’s right for you is, overall, that gut instinct – how do they make you feel. Do you feel inspired? Motivated? Heard? These are important factors to consider when you find a life coach and connect. Obviously you can easily find a life coach near you by doing a quick google or Yelp search. But get them on the phone, chat with them, and feel them out.

This is why I never take a life coach client unless we’ve a had a FREE 20 minute session that not only allows me to discern your level of commitment to achieving your goals, but also so that you can discern MY level of commitment to guiding you in achieving your goals. We are both, essentially, feeling each other out! I cannot take a client unless I am convinced they are 100% committed to applying the tools and resources I will provide through life coaching.

A Life Coach doesn’t give advice – how a life coach pushes you to build your own solution

Often, when someone finds out I’m a Life Coach, they’ll ask, usually to prod for free Life Coaching 🙂 – “What should I do about [insert life dilemma here]?” And I’ll usually respond with, “What do you think you should do about it?” Sometimes they’ll believe I’m joking and move on, but others will respond with true workable things which will result in a follow up question, “So what can you do to make sure you stick with that?”

While the question could seem like a joke response, I am actually giving them a small snippet of free life coaching. A life coach won’t give advice for any specific thing – a life coach’s job is to help push you in the direction you already know you need to go. We do this by asking important questions and helping you find the answer in your life that will help move you along.

Life Coaches have plenty of antidotes, visuals, cliche phrases, etc. but true work and momentum is when a life coach can help a client take ownership of their change by helping them find the empowerment that already lies within their heart.

Contact me today so I can help you find the change in your heart!

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

My specialties as a Life Coach and how they can help

Aside from helping my clients achieve overall well-being through self-empowerment and self love, there are three specialties I’m able to help my clients with through life coaching:

1) Relationship Coaching

Intimate, work, social, and family relationships have all been focused on through my life coaching process. The focus is mainly on making sure our communication channels are open and honest. Not only with others, but also, and most importantly, with ourselves.

2) Career Coaching

When it comes to my client’s career path, I am able to help them focus on establishing realistic and attainable goals through goal-setting exercises and helping my clients realize their full potential.

3) Fitness and Nutrition Coaching

So many of my clients simply want to lose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle. But so many are without the resource or knowledge on how to truly create a plan they can stick with and commit to, not only for the summer or an upcoming event, but for the rest of their life!

I help my clients establish solid goals they can remain passionate about while seeing and feeling results within weeks!

Contact me today and let me know which Life Coach you need!

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

A quick note on relationship coaching and how to make yourself first

As a life coach, I have had clients who spend a considerable amount of time talking about their husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner/question mark and trying to understand the decisions their significant other is making that could be hurting the relationship.

My role in this common scenario, is to help my clients understand how to manage their expectations and be a stronger communicator with themselves (which will, in turn, help them communicate better with their partner). When we work on the client’s relationship, our main focus is on them and how they are communicating and the multitude of communication tricks they can use that will allow their partner to communicate in return and help them understand the decisions they are making.

Essentially, I give my clients the tools so that they can figure it out on their own. Without having their partner present in their session, I couldn’t (nor should I) try to explain their partner’s actions. Through relationship coaching, though, we can figure out what needs to be added to get them there. It’s the same method I use in non-relationship coaching, when helping my clients figure out how to deal with any external force affecting their lives which seems beyond their control. The secret here is that the answer is inside your heart 🙂 and I can help you find it.

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

What is the difference between a psychiatrist, a therapist, and a Life Coach and how do they help their clients achieve specific goals?

One of the most common questions I receive is, what is a life coach and how is it different from psychiatry and/or psychotherapy. So, to simplify it, here is what each profession works on:

The Psychiatrist: While a psychiatrist does have a deep understanding of the mechanics of the mind, their focus is more on the physiological chemistry of your body and how it affects your mental well-being. Plus, you need to have a medical background in order to have clients.

The Therapist: Their focus is completely on the mind and how the past and present behavior has affected its mental state. Really, how to cope with that mental state or how to cope with what has happened in the past and how it affects daily behavior.

The Life Coach (that’s me!): A life coach’s focus is on the heart and empowering that heart to move the entire body forward into the future through self-care, self-love, above all, learning to put the heart first, or putting yourSELF first.

Could a client benefit from having all three in their life? If needed, absolutely. But my goal is to help you strengthen your heart so that we can work from the bottom up and (hopefully) heighten your mind to its full emotional clarity! Through life coaching sessions, we do the work together to make this happen.

And just a quick joke about therapy:

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But the light bulb has to want to change. 🙂

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

How many goals should I set at once?

I’m a Life Coach in Los Angeles and my goal setting approach with my clients is two fold. 

First, we establish THE top five goals. My experience has shown that this really gets my clients’ juices flowing in thinking of everything they might want to improve in their lives. Once we’ve completed the list of 5 goals, I then have them select the top one – the top one immediate goal they want to see affecting their lives. And that they could realistically achieve in the not too distant future.

Once we’ve selected the top goal, I ask them to temporarily dismiss the other four and to put all of their resources and energy in to making this one goal a reality. 

What I’ve seen is that, it’s easier for my clients to put more energy into one goal, then 5 whole separate goals. Focusing on five goals can be overwhelming for my clients and they tend to be easily discouraged if they aren’t accomplishing them because they feel that their energy is spread too thin. 

Once the one goal has been accomplished, we celebrate, and, like a six shooter, we select one of the remaining four and reload while adding a NEW goal to the list.

My clients have enjoyed incredible results thanks to this approach. 

There is a quote by Confucius that I lend my clients when talking about goals and spreading ourselves too thin: 

“The man who chases two rabbits, catches neither.”

Ron Swanson from the TV show “Parks and Rec” also has a very profound (and somewhat crass) quote:

“It’s better to whole ass one thing then to half ass two things.”

How many goals have you set for yourself this year? How many have you accomplished?

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can contact him by clicking HERE

My 90 Day Commitment to your progress, your growth, and your change

My personal goal as a life coach is to only have you as my client for 90 days. When I take on new clients, most of them are in a state of ‘program’. Their minds have been programmed to think a certain way for so long that this thought process can be seen as the continuing symptom causing unhappiness or dissatisfaction.

My goal is to re-align that program. The program can be seen as simply poor habits, or choices that are in your every day life that aren’t moving your life forward. For the average human, it takes 90 days to change a long lasting habit and that’s where I step in as your coach.

In that 90 days, I will give you tools and resources that will help you improve your every day life so that you are living the best version of yourself every single day. For some, it only takes 30 days, for others, it may take a little longer than 90 days. Either situation is okay and, through our relationship, we will discover which path you are on.

But, my 90 day commitment to you is also a selfish one. The sole reason I chose to pursue Life Coaching as a career was to help AS MANY people as I possibly can. If I take on several clients for several years, I can’t realistically achieve that goal.

Also, if I’m still your Life Coach after two years, I haven’t done a very good job 🙂

So let’s get started and begin this 90 day journey to help change your habits and reprogram your mind into creating the best version of you!

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

The Power of ‘Why’ in Goal-Setting – the ultimate motivational force

How do I set life goals?     How do I achieve my life goals?

Goal setting, goal setting, goal setting! Whether my clients are going through business coaching or fitness coaching, SETTING goals is one of the most important first steps to achieve success and bring those life goals to the next level! Goals accomplishment is one of my deep specialties and the most value I bring to my life coaching clients. It’s also one of the fundamental foundations of what a life coach does for their clients. Setting goals, committing to the goals (through action items and milestones), and achieving those goals.

The first and foremost step to establishing a goal is to WRITE IT DOWN. Get it out of your head and onto a sheet of paper. My favorite thing is when a client comes to me with a new goal and I ask, “Have you written it down?” When they respond, no, I jokingly call them out and ensure they write it down right then and there to get it out of their head and on to paper.

As an example, let’s say your goal is to bring in three more clients TODAY. If this is one of your goals, then, right now, take out a long sheet of paper and, at the very top write, “I want to bring in three new clients today.”

You now have this goal out of your head and into the Universe and you can see it, right there in front of you. You can visualize it.

Next step: underneath where you’ve written your goal (in this case we’ve written down, “I want to bring in three new clients today.”) write out the word, ‘Why?’ and then reflect on that. Why DO you want to bring in three new clients today? Take some time and really brainstorm the reasons why you want to bring in three new clients today. It’s very important to establish a powerful ‘why’ to support your goal. Otherwise, you simply have a goal and nothing to support it. Why, why, why. Why do you want these three new clients? Why today? Take a moment and write out a paragraph as to why it is you want these three new clients.

Third step: After you’ve written down your goal, and you’ve written out your strong ‘why’, underneath your why paragraph, write out the question, “How?” so that we can focus on HOW you’re going to achieve this goal. Really think about this and write out, at minimum, 5 steps on how you can achieve this goal. Write out 5 things you can commit to without any reservation to help you achieve this goal. You can write out 20 steps, you can write out 15, it’s up to you, but write out at least 5 steps to help you really dig and brainstorm what you’ll need to do to accomplish this goal.

So far you have your goal written down, you’ve established a strong and powerful ‘why’ and you’ve written out at least 5 things that show how you’re going to accomplish your goal. The last step is to go back to the top of the paper where you wrote out your goal, take your pen or pencil and scratch out the word “WANT” and replace it with the word “WILL” so that it reads, “I WILL bring in three new clients today.”

Whenever you say or write that you “want” something, you’re not pushing yourself to achieve that something, you’re simply creating a want for it. When you tell yourself (and the Universe) that you WILL do something, yourself and the Universe will take note. The gears in your brain suddenly move and spin in a direction to help you out, to figure this out.

Now take this sheet of paper and place it somewhere where you can view it every single day. Your fridge, your computer, your workstation, your front door, any place where you’ll see it every day so that it can serve as a reminder that this is a commitment you made with yourself.

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

A Cheat Sheet for the Life Coaching Process – a series of questions that will be asked in our sessions

The Life Coaching process, overall, can be extremely deep, and fulfilling for my clients and I wanted to share a quick snapshot of what one can expect on the initial coaching session. Rarely will my clients experience a lot of me telling them what they SHOULD or OUGHT to do. That’s not my place in our coaching relationship. So there is no personal ulterior motive or personal agenda in any session. My sessions are, overall, guided by the client. Much like a therapy session, I use the Socratic approach to help my clients dig deep inside themselves by asking strong practical questions. Unlike psychotherapy, my goal is to motivate you to take action and identify things in your life that have or haven’t worked to help better plan your life goals and achieve success. Here are a select handful of questions I ask my clients on the initial session so that we can discover in what direction we should go, moving forward, on other sessions.

1. Why do you feel that you need a life coach?
Every Life Coach will (or should) ask this question. It’s an obvious question that helps us uncover the initial motivation of seeking the guidance of a life coach. It also helps identify where our potential clients are at in their understanding of what life coaching is so we can discern whether or not, one, if life coaching is the proper fit to help them achieve what they want, and, two, if we are the right coach for their needs.

2. How’s that going for you?
This is a gentle question, a soft prod into how deep is the specific issue brought up in Question #1. We’re typically able to uncover completely separate issues my client wasn’t consciously thinking about that could have been limiting them. We’re able to attack those head on (these are called limiting beliefs, an important term my clients learn through coaching).

3. How long has this been going on?
This lets me know how far these issues have been a part of their life while showing my client, front-and-center, how long they’ve been living this way. It helps us identify patterned behavior that will need to be overcome through our coaching relationship.     

4. What have you tried to do about it? 
Always important to uncover if there are any tools that are already working or, conversely, the specific tools that are failing.

5. How’d that work out?  
A continuation of Question #4 – this shows both of us what has/hasn’t worked and the consequences or opportunity those efforts created.

6. What happens if it doesn’t change?  
This question is a partner of Question #7, letting my client visualize a future where nothing changes. This question is designed as a wake-up call to show the client how important it is to stop living the way they have. 

7. How does that make you feel?
This is the deepest question of all. The entire time we’ve been thinking logically about certain circumstances revealed in the session. Some issues the client may not have realized they were dealing with. Turning away from logic and looking inward to the heart and soul, we’re able to come to an agreement that something has to change!

8. What should we do?  
And this is where the fun begins! Armed with the knowledge of what needs to change, we’re able to team up and figure out, together, what action plan needs to take place to get the momentum rolling for positive permanent growth! 

It is important to note, again, that not everyone gets asked every single question, or in this order. My clients show me, through conversation, what they need and we develop an action plan together.

Are you ready for your initial life coaching session? Are you ready to answer these tough questions? Let’s get to work: CONNECT

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

Quick Q & A with Life Coach Tommy

What is the number one take away you hope your clients have after one of your Life Coach coaching sessions?

Man, there are a multitude of take aways and it really depends on where my client’s at in the process and really their life. But if I had to choose just one, I’d say that I hope that they feel empowered by the idea that they, personally, have the tools and power to create positive permanent momentum in their lives. I love the a-ha! moment I see in my client’s eyes when they connect with that idea and can feel a new spark of energy that positive change IS possible. Every session is concluded with attainable action items and I hope that my clients realize that all of the action items I help them set are possible.

Why did you choose Life Coaching?

I’ve encountered too many people that have convinced themselves that they aren’t deserving of a positive life. Many of these people have accepted that life is just supposed to be a negative experience (it’s also how I was raised…the ole ‘life sucks and then you die’ adage). I’ve always wanted to show people that all of these limiting beliefs simply aren’t true and I love the challenge of showing them how these limiting beliefs have created patterned behavior that MUST be overcome in order to move to the next level. As trite and cliche as this may sound, I really do want to help people realize their FULL potential by helping them empower their mind and heart and create positive momentum for their life. Because the reality is that life CAN be a struggle, but it doesn’t have to be an overall negative experience and no one needs to simply admit defeat.

If someone chose not to use Life Coaching, what is one piece of advice you would give them?

Whatever you do in this life, create goals for yourself and WRITE THEM DOWN. Keep yourself accountable and give yourself credit for your wins. Give your life purpose by creating positive goals and writing those goals down, get them out of your head and on to a piece of paper. Then commit to those goals and do whatever it takes to achieve them. And, no matter what, stay inspired and stay the course!

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE