Asking yourself the important questions to help lead you to Self-Care and Self-Love

How are you doing today? Really. Think about it. How are you?

This question is one of the most asked questions in the United States mainly as a life script “transaction”, ‘How are you today?’ ‘Oh, fine.’ It’s the salutation that most of us go through each day. It’s also the most common question that will illicit a disingenuous or dishonest response. Because…unfortunately…most of us…most of the time…are not ‘fine’.

So…again, how are you, really? Be honest with yourself.

This is the beginning of self love – knowing and understanding that you are not okay.

The next step is knowing that you can change it. Understanding that self love is possible through self-care.

When’s the last time you’ve done something truly for yourself?

What are some things you can do to make some time for yourself?

Here’s a really deep question and I’ll end it here, do you truly love yourself?

If your answer is ‘no’, or ‘I don’t know’…is loving yourself important to you? What can you do to help you love yourself?

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

My specialties as a Life Coach and how they can help

Aside from helping my clients achieve overall well-being through self-empowerment and self love, there are three specialties I’m able to help my clients with through life coaching:

1) Relationship Coaching

Intimate, work, social, and family relationships have all been focused on through my life coaching process. The focus is mainly on making sure our communication channels are open and honest. Not only with others, but also, and most importantly, with ourselves.

2) Career Coaching

When it comes to my client’s career path, I am able to help them focus on establishing realistic and attainable goals through goal-setting exercises and helping my clients realize their full potential.

3) Fitness and Nutrition Coaching

So many of my clients simply want to lose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle. But so many are without the resource or knowledge on how to truly create a plan they can stick with and commit to, not only for the summer or an upcoming event, but for the rest of their life!

I help my clients establish solid goals they can remain passionate about while seeing and feeling results within weeks!

Contact me today and let me know which Life Coach you need!

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

A quick note on relationship coaching and how to make yourself first

As a life coach, I have had clients who spend a considerable amount of time talking about their husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner/question mark and trying to understand the decisions their significant other is making that could be hurting the relationship.

My role in this common scenario, is to help my clients understand how to manage their expectations and be a stronger communicator with themselves (which will, in turn, help them communicate better with their partner). When we work on the client’s relationship, our main focus is on them and how they are communicating and the multitude of communication tricks they can use that will allow their partner to communicate in return and help them understand the decisions they are making.

Essentially, I give my clients the tools so that they can figure it out on their own. Without having their partner present in their session, I couldn’t (nor should I) try to explain their partner’s actions. Through relationship coaching, though, we can figure out what needs to be added to get them there. It’s the same method I use in non-relationship coaching, when helping my clients figure out how to deal with any external force affecting their lives which seems beyond their control. The secret here is that the answer is inside your heart 🙂 and I can help you find it.

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

What is the magical formula for losing weight and how it applies to keeping the weight off?

There actually is a magical formula for losing weight, but it’s by far not an easy one to solve. The challenge in the formula is making sure each variable is attempted with equal force. Here it is, the magical formula:

x(a+b)=c

Now, if we remember basic algebra, we know that x has to influence a and b to equal c. What do these variables stand for? Here you go:

C = sexy body

Or any type of body healthier than the one you have now lol it doesn’t have to be a sexy one (although who doesn’t want to be sexy?)

So how do we solve for C?

A = Diet

Remember, when I work with my life coaching clients who want to lose weight, I don’t ever make them “go on a diet”. The word diet simply means “the way one eats”. So, I ask my clients to change their diet or be aware of their diet and how it influences the daily operation of their physical body. Essentially, “we are what we eat” is one of the truest cliche phrases out there. If you’re eating high volumes of sugar, sodium, unhealthy fats, or processed flour, your essence is not going to feel very positive.

B = Fitness

Fitness doesn’t have to be this hardcore regiment at the gym but you must get your body moving. Walking, jogging, swimming, weight training, anything that gets the body moving and burning calories will help you lose weight.

Again, these two variables must be combined in order to maintain weight loss. When we start the life coaching process for losing weight, I never start with the workout routine. My first question is, what are you eating? My process will introduce healthy macros into your system to get your body in a healthier state before it starts working out. If you simply went to the gym after years of unhealthy eating, your work out is going to be a less than positive experience (it’s no wonder so many people quit early in their workout process!)

And now for x, the most important variable…without it, it’s impossible to combine A and B.

x = mind and heart

The brain is the most important muscle in the body. It is THE muscle you must work out before working out any other muscle in your body. If your mind’s not into it, your body will not follow. And your heart, essentially that emotional part of your brain that commits to why you are losing weight and maintains the passion and intensity in your work outs.

So, the magical formula for losing weight is better read as, diet plus fitness, multiplied by the mind and the heart equals sexy body 🙂

How do we work out the brain to get there? That’s where deep life coaching comes in to play. Let’s chat and see if we can do this for you!

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

What is the difference between a psychiatrist, a therapist, and a Life Coach and how do they help their clients?

One of the most common questions I receive is, what is a life coach and how is it different from psychiatry and/or psychotherapy. So, to simplify it, here is what each profession works on:

The Psychiatrist: While a psychiatrist does have a deep understanding of the mechanics of the mind, their focus is more on the physiological chemistry of your body and how it affects your mental well-being. Plus, you need to have a medical background in order to have clients.

The Therapist: Their focus is completely on the mind and how the past and present behavior has affected its mental state. Really, how to cope with that mental state or how to cope with what has happened in the past and how it affects daily behavior.

The Life Coach (that’s me!): A life coach’s focus is on the heart and empowering that heart to move the entire body forward into the future through self-care, self-love, above all, learning to put the heart first, or putting yourSELF first.

Could a client benefit from having all three in their life? If needed, absolutely. But my goal is to help you strengthen your heart so that we can work from the bottom up and (hopefully) heighten your mind to its full emotional clarity! Through life coaching sessions, we do the work together to make this happen.

And just a quick joke about therapy:

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But the light bulb has to want to change. 🙂

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

Communication IS key – especially when it comes to communicating with yourself

The very first thing I look into when starting a relationship with a life coaching client is their communication skills. I assess where they are in their life when it comes to two extremely important avenues of communication: the way they communicate with the people around them, and, more importantly (and probably most importantly), the way they communicate with themselves.

The second part, that self-care, self-love part of communicating with one’s self, is where we dig deep, for if we aren’t starting off with positive communication with self, we aren’t going to get anywhere.

It is so important to develop a positive relationship with self. If you aren’t developing a positive relationship with yourself, it is virtually impossible to have a positive relationship with anyone else in your life.

This includes your romantic partner, friends, co-workers, your boss, your family, even the relationship you have with your cat or your dog – I repeat, if you do not have a positive relationship with yourself, it is virtually impossible to have a positive relationship with anyone else.

There is hope, however, through coaching, once you’ve learned to love yourself, you can genuinely express and communicate positively with others and you’ll be surprised by how much easier it will be to fulfill your goals. Relationship coaching, on any level, is one of my specialties.

Use this day to motivate yourself and push your self into positive self-love. If you’ve damaged the relationship with self, take time, be patient, but start today by looking at yourself in the mirror and appreciating the positive strengths you do have. Make this new year about taking care of yourself. Make this new year about self-care.

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

Nature and the force of the Universe

“Nothing happens to anyone that he is not formed by nature to bear.” -Marcus Aurelius

We have all heard the phrase ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ and it’s extremely true…if you pay attention.

The funny and interesting thing about our existence in this universe is that everything that happens to us, if we can control our perception, can be used to overcome the next challenge or struggle that will inevitably enter our path. It’s all about self-awareness, self-care, self-love, essentially, an uber sense of self focus.

We must pay attention. Often, my clients will perceive themselves as victims to some benevolent force that doesn’t want them to enjoy a fulfilling life. This is solely a limiting belief and simply isn’t true. YOU are your own benevolent force. YOU have control over your own perceptions and your own response toward the events that happen.

Use these events to learn so that nature can be seen as an educational tool for your life.

Through self-awareness and paying attention to what’s going on, you CAN bear what happens to you in order to form a powerful force of nature in your own Universe!

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE