A quick note on relationship coaching

As a life coach, I have had clients who spend a considerable amount of time talking about their husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner/question mark and trying to understand the decisions their significant other is making that could be hurting the relationship.

My role in this scenario, is to help you understand how to manage your expectations and be a stronger communicator with yourself (which will in turn help you communicate better with your partner). When we work on your relationship, our main focus is on you and how you are communicating and communication tricks you can use that will allow your partner to communicate in return and help you understand the decisions they are making.

Essentially, I will give you the tools so that you can figure it out on your own. Without having your partner present in your session, I couldn’t (nor should I) even try to explain your partner’s actions. Through relationship coaching, though, we can figure out what needs to be added to get you there. It’s the same method I use in non-relationship coaching, when helping my clients figure out how to deal with any external force affecting their lives which seems beyond their control. The secret here is that the answer is inside your heart 🙂 and I can help you find it.

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What is the magical formula for losing weight?

There actually is a magical formula for losing weight, but it’s by far not an easy one to solve. The challenge in the formula is making sure each variable is attempted with equal force. Here it is, the magical formula:

x(a+b)=c

Now, if we remember basic algebra, we know that x has to influence a and b to equal c. What do these variables stand for? Here you go:

C = sexy body

Or any type of body healthier than the one you have now lol it doesn’t have to be a sexy one (although who doesn’t want to be sexy?)

So how do we solve for C?

A = Diet

Remember, when I work with my life coaching clients who want to lose weight, I don’t ever make them “go on a diet”. The word diet simply means “the way one eats”. So, I ask my clients to change their diet or be aware of their diet and how it influences the daily operation of their physical body. Essentially, “we are what we eat” is one of the truest cliche phrases out there. If you’re eating high volumes of sugar, sodium, unhealthy fats, or processed flour, your essence is not going to feel very positive.

B = Fitness

Fitness doesn’t have to be this hardcore regiment at the gym but you must get your body moving. Walking, jogging, swimming, weight training, anything that gets the body moving and burning calories will help you lose weight.

Again, these two variables must be combined in order to maintain weight loss. When we start the life coaching process for losing weight, I never start with the workout routine. My first question is, what are you eating? My process will introduce healthy macros into your system to get your body in a healthier state before it starts working out. If you simply went to the gym after years of unhealthy eating, your work out is going to be a less than positive experience (it’s no wonder so many people quit early in their workout process!)

And now for x, the most important variable…without it, it’s impossible to combine A and B.

x = mind and heart

The brain is the most important muscle in the body. It is THE muscle you must work out before working out any other muscle in your body. If your mind’s not into it, your body will not follow. And your heart, essentially that emotional part of your brain that commits to why you are losing weight and maintains the passion and intensity in your work outs.

So, the magical formula for losing weight is better read as, diet plus fitness, multiplied by the mind and the heart equals sexy body 🙂

How do we work out the brain to get there? That’s where deep life coaching comes in to play. Let’s chat and see if we can do this for you!

What is the difference between a psychiatrist, a therapist, and a Life Coach?

This is asked a lot and the differences are huge! But to simplify it, here is what each profession works on:

The Psychiatrist: While a psychiatrist does have a deep understanding of the mechanics of the mind, their focus is more on the physiological chemistry of your body and how it affects your mental well-being.

The Therapist: Their focus is completely on the mind and how the past has affected its mental state.

The Life Coach (that’s me!): A life coach’s focus is on the heart and empowering that heart to move the entire body forward into the future through self-love.

Could a client benefit from having all three in their life? If needed, absolutely. But my goal is to help you strengthen your heart so that we can work from the bottom up and (hopefully) heighten your mind to its full emotional clarity!

Communication IS key

The very first thing I look into when starting a relationship with a life coaching client is their communication skills. I assess where they are in their life when it comes to two extremely important avenues of communication: the way they communicate with the people around them, and, most importantly, the way they communicate with themselves.

The second part is where we dig deep, for if we aren’t starting off with positive communication with self, we aren’t going to get anywhere.

It is so important to develop a positive relationship with self. If you aren’t developing a positive relationship with yourself, it is virtually impossible to have a positive relationship with anyone else in your life.

Once you’ve learned to love yourself, you can genuinely express and communicate positively with others and you’ll be surprised by how much easier it will be to fulfill your goals.

Today, use this Monday to motivate yourself into positive self-love. If you’ve damaged the relationship with self, take time, be patient, but start today by looking at yourself in the mirror and appreciating the positive strengths you do have.

Nature

“Nothing happens to anyone that he is not formed by nature to bear.” -Marcus Aurelius

We have all heard the phrase ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ and it’s extremely true…if you pay attention.

The funny and interesting thing about our existence in this universe is that everything that happens to us, if we can control our perception, can be used to overcome the next challenge or struggle that will inevitably enter our path.

We must pay attention, though. Often, my clients will perceive themselves as victims to some benevolent force that doesn’t want them to enjoy a fulfilling life.

This simply isn’t true. YOU are your own benevolent force. YOU have control over your own perceptions and your own response toward the events that happen.

Use them to learn so that nature can be seen as an educational tool for your life.

Giving Thanks

Today is, of course, a day of thanks. Normally, many families come together and spend time reflecting on what it is they are thankful for. Most often, this is done in quiet reflection.

Take time and communicate to those closest to you how much you are thankful for them being part of your life.

But also, don’t forget about yourself. Be sure to make some time to look in the mirror and thank yourself for how far you’ve come. If the relationship you have with yourself is less than positive, it’s time to identify that. At least identify your strengths, and be thankful for those.

If you’re not able to look yourself in the mirror and have an honest loving conversation, it may be time for us to talk about Life Coaching.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Losing Weight Part 2

Losing Weight, as mentioned previously, is one of the most common reasons someone would hire a life coach. It’s the number one reason people decide to hire me. The reason, however, why my clients want to lose weight, usually digs deeper into more profound limiting beliefs I enjoy uncovering.

And it usually surrounds trying to impress someone. The tragedy behind that reason is that three things happen:

A) The subject is impressed, but their response is underwhelming.

B) The subject is impressed, the receiver receives all that they were hoping for, but, like an addicts high, the feeling dissipates over time.

C) The subject is unimpressed.

All three of these events lead my clients back to their normal eating habits…

The take away here is to find a reason YOU want to impress yourself. Most of my clients learn very quickly that my approach is guided toward self-love.

Do things for yourself and you’ll be amazed at the power you’ll have in achieving your goals.