How owning your Response to an Event will affect your Outcome immensely

In the extremely essential book The Success Principles, authors Jack Canfield and Janet Switzer taught me a valuable lesson. A valuable equation that I push my clients to follow and include in their daily life. This equation is: E + R = O. As the title of this blog would suggest, E = Event, R = Response, and O = Outcome. If an Event happens, your Response to that event will influence the overall Outcome. My biggest take away from this book was, controlling the outcome to an event is one’s choice and this is accomplished by maintaining awareness of one’s response to that event, no matter what.

Simplified, if a negative event happens and your response is negative, what sort of outcome do you suppose would occur? If a positive event happens and your response is negative, what do you think the outcome will be? If you’re catching on, then you can probably figure out what the outcome would be if a negative event happens and your response was positive. What sort of outcome do you think that would create?

Below is your answer sheet, message me and let me know if your answers were in line:

-(E) + -(R) = -(O)

+(E) + -(R) = -(O)

+(E) + +(R) = +(O)

Self-Empowerment is the ultimate result when one lives through that last equation. I help my clients understand how to take responsibility in their responses. It is very easy to blame others or any other external factor when something negative happens, but self-empowerment can be achieved when my clients are able to take full responsibility for their reaction and not lend power to the multitude of external events that can affect our life.

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

Asking yourself the important questions to help lead you to Self-Care and Self-Love

How are you doing today? Really. Think about it. How are you?

This question is one of the most asked questions in the United States mainly as a life script “transaction”, ‘How are you today?’ ‘Oh, fine.’ It’s the salutation that most of us go through each day. It’s also the most common question that will illicit a disingenuous or dishonest response. Because…unfortunately…most of us…most of the time…are not ‘fine’.

So…again, how are you, really? Be honest with yourself.

This is the beginning of self love – knowing and understanding that you are not okay.

The next step is knowing that you can change it. Understanding that self love is possible through self-care.

When’s the last time you’ve done something truly for yourself?

What are some things you can do to make some time for yourself?

Here’s a really deep question and I’ll end it here, do you truly love yourself?

If your answer is ‘no’, or ‘I don’t know’…is loving yourself important to you? What can you do to help you love yourself?

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

A Life Coach doesn’t give advice – how a life coach pushes you to build your own solution

Often, when someone finds out I’m a Life Coach, they’ll ask, usually to prod for free Life Coaching 🙂 – “What should I do about [insert life dilemma here]?” And I’ll usually respond with, “What do you think you should do about it?” Sometimes they’ll believe I’m joking and move on, but others will respond with true workable things which will result in a follow up question, “So what can you do to make sure you stick with that?”

While the question could seem like a joke response, I am actually giving them a small snippet of free life coaching. A life coach won’t give advice for any specific thing – a life coach’s job is to help push you in the direction you already know you need to go. We do this by asking important questions and helping you find the answer in your life that will help move you along.

Life Coaches have plenty of antidotes, visuals, cliche phrases, etc. but true work and momentum is when a life coach can help a client take ownership of their change by helping them find the empowerment that already lies within their heart.

Contact me today so I can help you find the change in your heart!

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

My specialties as a Life Coach and how they can help

Aside from helping my clients achieve overall well-being through self-empowerment and self love, there are three specialties I’m able to help my clients with through life coaching:

1) Relationship Coaching

Intimate, work, social, and family relationships have all been focused on through my life coaching process. The focus is mainly on making sure our communication channels are open and honest. Not only with others, but also, and most importantly, with ourselves.

2) Career Coaching

When it comes to my client’s career path, I am able to help them focus on establishing realistic and attainable goals through goal-setting exercises and helping my clients realize their full potential.

3) Fitness and Nutrition Coaching

So many of my clients simply want to lose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle. But so many are without the resource or knowledge on how to truly create a plan they can stick with and commit to, not only for the summer or an upcoming event, but for the rest of their life!

I help my clients establish solid goals they can remain passionate about while seeing and feeling results within weeks!

Contact me today and let me know which Life Coach you need!

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

A quick note on relationship coaching and how to make yourself first

As a life coach, I have had clients who spend a considerable amount of time talking about their husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner/question mark and trying to understand the decisions their significant other is making that could be hurting the relationship.

My role in this common scenario, is to help my clients understand how to manage their expectations and be a stronger communicator with themselves (which will, in turn, help them communicate better with their partner). When we work on the client’s relationship, our main focus is on them and how they are communicating and the multitude of communication tricks they can use that will allow their partner to communicate in return and help them understand the decisions they are making.

Essentially, I give my clients the tools so that they can figure it out on their own. Without having their partner present in their session, I couldn’t (nor should I) try to explain their partner’s actions. Through relationship coaching, though, we can figure out what needs to be added to get them there. It’s the same method I use in non-relationship coaching, when helping my clients figure out how to deal with any external force affecting their lives which seems beyond their control. The secret here is that the answer is inside your heart 🙂 and I can help you find it.

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

What is the magical formula for losing weight and how it applies to keeping the weight off?

There actually is a magical formula for losing weight, but it’s by far not an easy one to solve. The challenge in the formula is making sure each variable is attempted with equal force. Here it is, the magical formula:

x(a+b)=c

Now, if we remember basic algebra, we know that x has to influence a and b to equal c. What do these variables stand for? Here you go:

C = sexy body

Or any type of body healthier than the one you have now lol it doesn’t have to be a sexy one (although who doesn’t want to be sexy?)

So how do we solve for C?

A = Diet

Remember, when I work with my life coaching clients who want to lose weight, I don’t ever make them “go on a diet”. The word diet simply means “the way one eats”. So, I ask my clients to change their diet or be aware of their diet and how it influences the daily operation of their physical body. Essentially, “we are what we eat” is one of the truest cliche phrases out there. If you’re eating high volumes of sugar, sodium, unhealthy fats, or processed flour, your essence is not going to feel very positive.

B = Fitness

Fitness doesn’t have to be this hardcore regiment at the gym but you must get your body moving. Walking, jogging, swimming, weight training, anything that gets the body moving and burning calories will help you lose weight.

Again, these two variables must be combined in order to maintain weight loss. When we start the life coaching process for losing weight, I never start with the workout routine. My first question is, what are you eating? My process will introduce healthy macros into your system to get your body in a healthier state before it starts working out. If you simply went to the gym after years of unhealthy eating, your work out is going to be a less than positive experience (it’s no wonder so many people quit early in their workout process!)

And now for x, the most important variable…without it, it’s impossible to combine A and B.

x = mind and heart

The brain is the most important muscle in the body. It is THE muscle you must work out before working out any other muscle in your body. If your mind’s not into it, your body will not follow. And your heart, essentially that emotional part of your brain that commits to why you are losing weight and maintains the passion and intensity in your work outs.

So, the magical formula for losing weight is better read as, diet plus fitness, multiplied by the mind and the heart equals sexy body 🙂

How do we work out the brain to get there? That’s where deep life coaching comes in to play. Let’s chat and see if we can do this for you!

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

What is the difference between a psychiatrist, a therapist, and a Life Coach and how do they help their clients achieve specific goals?

One of the most common questions I receive is, what is a life coach and how is it different from psychiatry and/or psychotherapy. So, to simplify it, here is what each profession works on:

The Psychiatrist: While a psychiatrist does have a deep understanding of the mechanics of the mind, their focus is more on the physiological chemistry of your body and how it affects your mental well-being. Plus, you need to have a medical background in order to have clients.

The Therapist: Their focus is completely on the mind and how the past and present behavior has affected its mental state. Really, how to cope with that mental state or how to cope with what has happened in the past and how it affects daily behavior.

The Life Coach (that’s me!): A life coach’s focus is on the heart and empowering that heart to move the entire body forward into the future through self-care, self-love, above all, learning to put the heart first, or putting yourSELF first.

Could a client benefit from having all three in their life? If needed, absolutely. But my goal is to help you strengthen your heart so that we can work from the bottom up and (hopefully) heighten your mind to its full emotional clarity! Through life coaching sessions, we do the work together to make this happen.

And just a quick joke about therapy:

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But the light bulb has to want to change. 🙂

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

Quick Q & A with Life Coach Tommy

What is the number one take away you hope your clients have after one of your Life Coach coaching sessions?

Man, there are a multitude of take aways and it really depends on where my client’s at in the process and really their life. But if I had to choose just one, I’d say that I hope that they feel empowered by the idea that they, personally, have the tools and power to create positive permanent momentum in their lives. I love the a-ha! moment I see in my client’s eyes when they connect with that idea and can feel a new spark of energy that positive change IS possible. Every session is concluded with attainable action items and I hope that my clients realize that all of the action items I help them set are possible.

Why did you choose Life Coaching?

I’ve encountered too many people that have convinced themselves that they aren’t deserving of a positive life. Many of these people have accepted that life is just supposed to be a negative experience (it’s also how I was raised…the ole ‘life sucks and then you die’ adage). I’ve always wanted to show people that all of these limiting beliefs simply aren’t true and I love the challenge of showing them how these limiting beliefs have created patterned behavior that MUST be overcome in order to move to the next level. As trite and cliche as this may sound, I really do want to help people realize their FULL potential by helping them empower their mind and heart and create positive momentum for their life. Because the reality is that life CAN be a struggle, but it doesn’t have to be an overall negative experience and no one needs to simply admit defeat.

If someone chose not to use Life Coaching, what is one piece of advice you would give them?

Whatever you do in this life, create goals for yourself and WRITE THEM DOWN. Keep yourself accountable and give yourself credit for your wins. Give your life purpose by creating positive goals and writing those goals down, get them out of your head and on to a piece of paper. Then commit to those goals and do whatever it takes to achieve them. And, no matter what, stay inspired and stay the course!

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE