Do I need to see a life coach near me or can I have a life coach from anywhere?

When I’m contacted to be someone’s life coach, they are often extremely close to where I reside, in Sherman Oaks, CA.

While it is extremely convenient for face to face interaction, there are some clients that also contact me from the East Coast as well as the Pacific Northwest. As it isn’t financially feasible all the time for either of us to travel to each other on a weekly basis, we are able to do some great work with modern technology, i.e. FaceTime or Skype.

Gone are the days where life coaching is done just over the phone. With FaceTime and/or Skype I am able to offer the same valuable encouragement and goal-setting practices that are experienced through face to face interaction.

So, no matter where you are, whether you’re here in Los Angeles, in my Valley neighborhood, or on the other side of the country, I’m more than excited to help you fulfill your goals and live a satisfying life.

Also, another important question is how to find a life coach and not just, in general, but, how to find a life coach that’s the best fit for you. The basic foundation of finding a life coach that’s right for you is, overall, that gut instinct – how do they make you feel. Do you feel inspired? Motivated? Heard? These are important factors to consider when you find a life coach and connect. Obviously you can easily find a life coach near you by doing a quick google or Yelp search. But get them on the phone, chat with them, and feel them out.

This is why I never take a life coach client unless we’ve a had a FREE 20 minute session that not only allows me to discern your level of commitment to achieving your goals, but also so that you can discern MY level of commitment to guiding you in achieving your goals. We are both, essentially, feeling each other out! I cannot take a client unless I am convinced they are 100% committed to applying the tools and resources I will provide through life coaching.

How owning your Response to an Event will affect your Outcome immensely

In the extremely essential book The Success Principles, authors Jack Canfield and Janet Switzer taught me a valuable lesson. A valuable equation that I push my clients to follow and include in their daily life. This equation is: E + R = O. As the title of this blog would suggest, E = Event, R = Response, and O = Outcome. If an Event happens, your Response to that event will influence the overall Outcome. My biggest take away from this book was, controlling the outcome to an event is one’s choice and this is accomplished by maintaining awareness of one’s response to that event, no matter what.

Simplified, if a negative event happens and your response is negative, what sort of outcome do you suppose would occur? If a positive event happens and your response is negative, what do you think the outcome will be? If you’re catching on, then you can probably figure out what the outcome would be if a negative event happens and your response was positive. What sort of outcome do you think that would create?

Below is your answer sheet, message me and let me know if your answers were in line:

-(E) + -(R) = -(O)

+(E) + -(R) = -(O)

+(E) + +(R) = +(O)

Self-Empowerment is the ultimate result when one lives through that last equation. I help my clients understand how to take responsibility in their responses. It is very easy to blame others or any other external factor when something negative happens, but self-empowerment can be achieved when my clients are able to take full responsibility for their reaction and not lend power to the multitude of external events that can affect our life.

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

Asking yourself the important questions to help lead you to Self-Care and Self-Love

How are you doing today? Really. Think about it. How are you?

This question is one of the most asked questions in the United States mainly as a life script “transaction”, ‘How are you today?’ ‘Oh, fine.’ It’s the salutation that most of us go through each day. It’s also the most common question that will illicit a disingenuous or dishonest response. Because…unfortunately…most of us…most of the time…are not ‘fine’.

So…again, how are you, really? Be honest with yourself.

This is the beginning of self love – knowing and understanding that you are not okay.

The next step is knowing that you can change it. Understanding that self love is possible through self-care.

When’s the last time you’ve done something truly for yourself?

What are some things you can do to make some time for yourself?

Here’s a really deep question and I’ll end it here, do you truly love yourself?

If your answer is ‘no’, or ‘I don’t know’…is loving yourself important to you? What can you do to help you love yourself?

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

A Life Coach doesn’t give advice – how a life coach pushes you to build your own solution

Often, when someone finds out I’m a Life Coach, they’ll ask, usually to prod for free Life Coaching 🙂 – “What should I do about [insert life dilemma here]?” And I’ll usually respond with, “What do you think you should do about it?” Sometimes they’ll believe I’m joking and move on, but others will respond with true workable things which will result in a follow up question, “So what can you do to make sure you stick with that?”

While the question could seem like a joke response, I am actually giving them a small snippet of free life coaching. A life coach won’t give advice for any specific thing – a life coach’s job is to help push you in the direction you already know you need to go. We do this by asking important questions and helping you find the answer in your life that will help move you along.

Life Coaches have plenty of antidotes, visuals, cliche phrases, etc. but true work and momentum is when a life coach can help a client take ownership of their change by helping them find the empowerment that already lies within their heart.

Contact me today so I can help you find the change in your heart!

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

A quick note on relationship coaching and how to make yourself first

As a life coach, I have had clients who spend a considerable amount of time talking about their husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner/question mark and trying to understand the decisions their significant other is making that could be hurting the relationship.

My role in this common scenario, is to help my clients understand how to manage their expectations and be a stronger communicator with themselves (which will, in turn, help them communicate better with their partner). When we work on the client’s relationship, our main focus is on them and how they are communicating and the multitude of communication tricks they can use that will allow their partner to communicate in return and help them understand the decisions they are making.

Essentially, I give my clients the tools so that they can figure it out on their own. Without having their partner present in their session, I couldn’t (nor should I) try to explain their partner’s actions. Through relationship coaching, though, we can figure out what needs to be added to get them there. It’s the same method I use in non-relationship coaching, when helping my clients figure out how to deal with any external force affecting their lives which seems beyond their control. The secret here is that the answer is inside your heart 🙂 and I can help you find it.

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

The present, the past, the future – our life teachers and how to learn from them

As a life coach I can promise you one thing: If you’re able to use the past only as a teacher and a barometer to show you how far you’ve come; if you can use the future only as a sail to guide you and help build your vision; if you can do that and stay in the present, let go, and hang on to the steering wheel of your sail boat of life – life will not magically become easier, it will become easier to deal with. You will be granted amazing power to steer the course of your life and accomplish your goals. It is through this flowing relationship between past, present, and future that will help empower you and help you achieve tremendous things.

You are the Captain of your ship, as your life coach, I can help you as a navigator. That is, essentially, the best example of the life coach relationship I have with my clients. Let’s help you charter your timeline and course through the winds and storms life can bring us!

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

Life – a more satisfying way to look at things, maybe…

Life is not great. Life does not suck. Life is neither challenging, nor easy. Life is not beautiful…nor ugly. Life is not glorious. Life is not boring. Life…just…is. A flowing forward moving current that we are blessed and condemned to constantly experience its present. The future is not here. The past is gone. The only thing guaranteed is this present moment. The future will never occur exactly how it is imagined. The past was neither as good nor as bad as it is remembered. The only thing reliable is this present moment – already fleeting. Appreciate it as much as you can.

As your life coach, it is my duty to help you appreciate the present. Only in the present NOW can we do our best work and empower ourselves.

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

How many goals should I set at once?

I’m a Life Coach in Los Angeles and my goal setting approach with my clients is two fold. 

First, we establish THE top five goals. My experience has shown that this really gets my clients’ juices flowing in thinking of everything they might want to improve in their lives. Once we’ve completed the list of 5 goals, I then have them select the top one – the top one immediate goal they want to see affecting their lives. And that they could realistically achieve in the not too distant future.

Once we’ve selected the top goal, I ask them to temporarily dismiss the other four and to put all of their resources and energy in to making this one goal a reality. 

What I’ve seen is that, it’s easier for my clients to put more energy into one goal, then 5 whole separate goals. Focusing on five goals can be overwhelming for my clients and they tend to be easily discouraged if they aren’t accomplishing them because they feel that their energy is spread too thin. 

Once the one goal has been accomplished, we celebrate, and, like a six shooter, we select one of the remaining four and reload while adding a NEW goal to the list.

My clients have enjoyed incredible results thanks to this approach. 

There is a quote by Confucius that I lend my clients when talking about goals and spreading ourselves too thin: 

“The man who chases two rabbits, catches neither.”

Ron Swanson from the TV show “Parks and Rec” also has a very profound (and somewhat crass) quote:

“It’s better to whole ass one thing then to half ass two things.”

How many goals have you set for yourself this year? How many have you accomplished?

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can contact him by clicking HERE

The power of language (or how are you talking to yourself?)

One of my first approaches as a Life Coach is to help people identify how they’re talking to themselves. The first core change I help guide my clients through is an entire focus on self care and the relationship they have with themselves. My life coach clients will hear me say it multiple times and it will most likely be repeated all over my blogs: if you don’t have a positive relationship with yourself, it will be extremely difficult to have a positive relationship with anyone else in your life. Self love, self love, self love….it’s all about loving yourself!

So, the first step we go through in life coaching is “relationship with self”. We identify how we are communicating with ourself by looking at the language being used.

Here’s an example of a negative limitation sentence:

“Things like this always happen to ME.”

This sentence is an absolute sentence that creates an image of the person internalizing it as a victim. Anytime my clients use absolutism to describe their uncomfortable situations, I typically raise a red flag and ask them if it’s true that things like this ALWAYS happen to just THEM. “Always” and “Me” are the key factors that make this a limitation sentence.

I help my clients guide themselves through seeing each situation, each occurrence as an isolated event. We can’t control the things that happen to us, but we CAN control how we react to them. If you react with positive opportunistic internal sentences, you’ll find yourself having a positive empowering attitude more often!

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE