How owning your Response to an Event will affect your Outcome immensely

In the extremely essential book The Success Principles, authors Jack Canfield and Janet Switzer taught me a valuable lesson. A valuable equation that I push my clients to follow and include in their daily life. This equation is: E + R = O. As the title of this blog would suggest, E = Event, R = Response, and O = Outcome. If an Event happens, your Response to that event will influence the overall Outcome. My biggest take away from this book was, controlling the outcome to an event is one’s choice and this is accomplished by maintaining awareness of one’s response to that event, no matter what.

Simplified, if a negative event happens and your response is negative, what sort of outcome do you suppose would occur? If a positive event happens and your response is negative, what do you think the outcome will be? If you’re catching on, then you can probably figure out what the outcome would be if a negative event happens and your response was positive. What sort of outcome do you think that would create?

Below is your answer sheet, message me and let me know if your answers were in line:

-(E) + -(R) = -(O)

+(E) + -(R) = -(O)

+(E) + +(R) = +(O)

Self-Empowerment is the ultimate result when one lives through that last equation. I help my clients understand how to take responsibility in their responses. It is very easy to blame others or any other external factor when something negative happens, but self-empowerment can be achieved when my clients are able to take full responsibility for their reaction and not lend power to the multitude of external events that can affect our life.

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

My specialties as a Life Coach and how they can help

Aside from helping my clients achieve overall well-being through self-empowerment and self love, there are three specialties I’m able to help my clients with through life coaching:

1) Relationship Coaching

Intimate, work, social, and family relationships have all been focused on through my life coaching process. The focus is mainly on making sure our communication channels are open and honest. Not only with others, but also, and most importantly, with ourselves.

2) Career Coaching

When it comes to my client’s career path, I am able to help them focus on establishing realistic and attainable goals through goal-setting exercises and helping my clients realize their full potential.

3) Fitness and Nutrition Coaching

So many of my clients simply want to lose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle. But so many are without the resource or knowledge on how to truly create a plan they can stick with and commit to, not only for the summer or an upcoming event, but for the rest of their life!

I help my clients establish solid goals they can remain passionate about while seeing and feeling results within weeks!

Contact me today and let me know which Life Coach you need!

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

A quick note on relationship coaching and how to make yourself first

As a life coach, I have had clients who spend a considerable amount of time talking about their husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner/question mark and trying to understand the decisions their significant other is making that could be hurting the relationship.

My role in this common scenario, is to help my clients understand how to manage their expectations and be a stronger communicator with themselves (which will, in turn, help them communicate better with their partner). When we work on the client’s relationship, our main focus is on them and how they are communicating and the multitude of communication tricks they can use that will allow their partner to communicate in return and help them understand the decisions they are making.

Essentially, I give my clients the tools so that they can figure it out on their own. Without having their partner present in their session, I couldn’t (nor should I) try to explain their partner’s actions. Through relationship coaching, though, we can figure out what needs to be added to get them there. It’s the same method I use in non-relationship coaching, when helping my clients figure out how to deal with any external force affecting their lives which seems beyond their control. The secret here is that the answer is inside your heart 🙂 and I can help you find it.

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

What is the magical formula for losing weight and how it applies to keeping the weight off?

There actually is a magical formula for losing weight, but it’s by far not an easy one to solve. The challenge in the formula is making sure each variable is attempted with equal force. Here it is, the magical formula:

x(a+b)=c

Now, if we remember basic algebra, we know that x has to influence a and b to equal c. What do these variables stand for? Here you go:

C = sexy body

Or any type of body healthier than the one you have now lol it doesn’t have to be a sexy one (although who doesn’t want to be sexy?)

So how do we solve for C?

A = Diet

Remember, when I work with my life coaching clients who want to lose weight, I don’t ever make them “go on a diet”. The word diet simply means “the way one eats”. So, I ask my clients to change their diet or be aware of their diet and how it influences the daily operation of their physical body. Essentially, “we are what we eat” is one of the truest cliche phrases out there. If you’re eating high volumes of sugar, sodium, unhealthy fats, or processed flour, your essence is not going to feel very positive.

B = Fitness

Fitness doesn’t have to be this hardcore regiment at the gym but you must get your body moving. Walking, jogging, swimming, weight training, anything that gets the body moving and burning calories will help you lose weight.

Again, these two variables must be combined in order to maintain weight loss. When we start the life coaching process for losing weight, I never start with the workout routine. My first question is, what are you eating? My process will introduce healthy macros into your system to get your body in a healthier state before it starts working out. If you simply went to the gym after years of unhealthy eating, your work out is going to be a less than positive experience (it’s no wonder so many people quit early in their workout process!)

And now for x, the most important variable…without it, it’s impossible to combine A and B.

x = mind and heart

The brain is the most important muscle in the body. It is THE muscle you must work out before working out any other muscle in your body. If your mind’s not into it, your body will not follow. And your heart, essentially that emotional part of your brain that commits to why you are losing weight and maintains the passion and intensity in your work outs.

So, the magical formula for losing weight is better read as, diet plus fitness, multiplied by the mind and the heart equals sexy body 🙂

How do we work out the brain to get there? That’s where deep life coaching comes in to play. Let’s chat and see if we can do this for you!

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

What is the difference between a psychiatrist, a therapist, and a Life Coach and how do they help their clients?

One of the most common questions I receive is, what is a life coach and how is it different from psychiatry and/or psychotherapy. So, to simplify it, here is what each profession works on:

The Psychiatrist: While a psychiatrist does have a deep understanding of the mechanics of the mind, their focus is more on the physiological chemistry of your body and how it affects your mental well-being. Plus, you need to have a medical background in order to have clients.

The Therapist: Their focus is completely on the mind and how the past and present behavior has affected its mental state. Really, how to cope with that mental state or how to cope with what has happened in the past and how it affects daily behavior.

The Life Coach (that’s me!): A life coach’s focus is on the heart and empowering that heart to move the entire body forward into the future through self-care, self-love, above all, learning to put the heart first, or putting yourSELF first.

Could a client benefit from having all three in their life? If needed, absolutely. But my goal is to help you strengthen your heart so that we can work from the bottom up and (hopefully) heighten your mind to its full emotional clarity! Through life coaching sessions, we do the work together to make this happen.

And just a quick joke about therapy:

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But the light bulb has to want to change. 🙂

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

A Cheat Sheet for the Life Coaching Process – a series of questions that will be asked in our sessions

The Life Coaching process, overall, can be extremely deep, and fulfilling for my clients and I wanted to share a quick snapshot of what one can expect on the initial coaching session. Rarely will my clients experience a lot of me telling them what they SHOULD or OUGHT to do. That’s not my place in our coaching relationship. So there is no personal ulterior motive or personal agenda in any session. My sessions are, overall, guided by the client. Much like a therapy session, I use the Socratic approach to help my clients dig deep inside themselves by asking strong practical questions. Unlike psychotherapy, my goal is to motivate you to take action and identify things in your life that have or haven’t worked to help better plan your life goals and achieve success. Here are a select handful of questions I ask my clients on the initial session so that we can discover in what direction we should go, moving forward, on other sessions.

1. Why do you feel that you need a life coach?
Every Life Coach will (or should) ask this question. It’s an obvious question that helps us uncover the initial motivation of seeking the guidance of a life coach. It also helps identify where our potential clients are at in their understanding of what life coaching is so we can discern whether or not, one, if life coaching is the proper fit to help them achieve what they want, and, two, if we are the right coach for their needs.

2. How’s that going for you?
This is a gentle question, a soft prod into how deep is the specific issue brought up in Question #1. We’re typically able to uncover completely separate issues my client wasn’t consciously thinking about that could have been limiting them. We’re able to attack those head on (these are called limiting beliefs, an important term my clients learn through coaching).

3. How long has this been going on?
This lets me know how far these issues have been a part of their life while showing my client, front-and-center, how long they’ve been living this way. It helps us identify patterned behavior that will need to be overcome through our coaching relationship.     

4. What have you tried to do about it? 
Always important to uncover if there are any tools that are already working or, conversely, the specific tools that are failing.

5. How’d that work out?  
A continuation of Question #4 – this shows both of us what has/hasn’t worked and the consequences or opportunity those efforts created.

6. What happens if it doesn’t change?  
This question is a partner of Question #7, letting my client visualize a future where nothing changes. This question is designed as a wake-up call to show the client how important it is to stop living the way they have. 

7. How does that make you feel?
This is the deepest question of all. The entire time we’ve been thinking logically about certain circumstances revealed in the session. Some issues the client may not have realized they were dealing with. Turning away from logic and looking inward to the heart and soul, we’re able to come to an agreement that something has to change!

8. What should we do?  
And this is where the fun begins! Armed with the knowledge of what needs to change, we’re able to team up and figure out, together, what action plan needs to take place to get the momentum rolling for positive permanent growth! 

It is important to note, again, that not everyone gets asked every single question, or in this order. My clients show me, through conversation, what they need and we develop an action plan together.

Are you ready for your initial life coaching session? Are you ready to answer these tough questions? Let’s get to work: CONNECT

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE