How owning your Response to an Event will affect your Outcome immensely

In the extremely essential book The Success Principles, authors Jack Canfield and Janet Switzer taught me a valuable lesson. A valuable equation that I push my clients to follow and include in their daily life. This equation is: E + R = O. As the title of this blog would suggest, E = Event, R = Response, and O = Outcome. If an Event happens, your Response to that event will influence the overall Outcome. My biggest take away from this book was, controlling the outcome to an event is one’s choice and this is accomplished by maintaining awareness of one’s response to that event, no matter what.

Simplified, if a negative event happens and your response is negative, what sort of outcome do you suppose would occur? If a positive event happens and your response is negative, what do you think the outcome will be? If you’re catching on, then you can probably figure out what the outcome would be if a negative event happens and your response was positive. What sort of outcome do you think that would create?

Below is your answer sheet, message me and let me know if your answers were in line:

-(E) + -(R) = -(O)

+(E) + -(R) = -(O)

+(E) + +(R) = +(O)

Self-Empowerment is the ultimate result when one lives through that last equation. I help my clients understand how to take responsibility in their responses. It is very easy to blame others or any other external factor when something negative happens, but self-empowerment can be achieved when my clients are able to take full responsibility for their reaction and not lend power to the multitude of external events that can affect our life.

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

Asking yourself the important questions to help lead you to Self-Care and Self-Love

How are you doing today? Really. Think about it. How are you?

This question is one of the most asked questions in the United States mainly as a life script “transaction”, ‘How are you today?’ ‘Oh, fine.’ It’s the salutation that most of us go through each day. It’s also the most common question that will illicit a disingenuous or dishonest response. Because…unfortunately…most of us…most of the time…are not ‘fine’.

So…again, how are you, really? Be honest with yourself.

This is the beginning of self love – knowing and understanding that you are not okay.

The next step is knowing that you can change it. Understanding that self love is possible through self-care.

When’s the last time you’ve done something truly for yourself?

What are some things you can do to make some time for yourself?

Here’s a really deep question and I’ll end it here, do you truly love yourself?

If your answer is ‘no’, or ‘I don’t know’…is loving yourself important to you? What can you do to help you love yourself?

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

My specialties as a Life Coach and how they can help

Aside from helping my clients achieve overall well-being through self-empowerment and self love, there are three specialties I’m able to help my clients with through life coaching:

1) Relationship Coaching

Intimate, work, social, and family relationships have all been focused on through my life coaching process. The focus is mainly on making sure our communication channels are open and honest. Not only with others, but also, and most importantly, with ourselves.

2) Career Coaching

When it comes to my client’s career path, I am able to help them focus on establishing realistic and attainable goals through goal-setting exercises and helping my clients realize their full potential.

3) Fitness and Nutrition Coaching

So many of my clients simply want to lose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle. But so many are without the resource or knowledge on how to truly create a plan they can stick with and commit to, not only for the summer or an upcoming event, but for the rest of their life!

I help my clients establish solid goals they can remain passionate about while seeing and feeling results within weeks!

Contact me today and let me know which Life Coach you need!

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

A quick note on relationship coaching and how to make yourself first

As a life coach, I have had clients who spend a considerable amount of time talking about their husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner/question mark and trying to understand the decisions their significant other is making that could be hurting the relationship.

My role in this common scenario, is to help my clients understand how to manage their expectations and be a stronger communicator with themselves (which will, in turn, help them communicate better with their partner). When we work on the client’s relationship, our main focus is on them and how they are communicating and the multitude of communication tricks they can use that will allow their partner to communicate in return and help them understand the decisions they are making.

Essentially, I give my clients the tools so that they can figure it out on their own. Without having their partner present in their session, I couldn’t (nor should I) try to explain their partner’s actions. Through relationship coaching, though, we can figure out what needs to be added to get them there. It’s the same method I use in non-relationship coaching, when helping my clients figure out how to deal with any external force affecting their lives which seems beyond their control. The secret here is that the answer is inside your heart 🙂 and I can help you find it.

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

What is the magical formula for losing weight and how it applies to keeping the weight off?

There actually is a magical formula for losing weight, but it’s by far not an easy one to solve. The challenge in the formula is making sure each variable is attempted with equal force. Here it is, the magical formula:

x(a+b)=c

Now, if we remember basic algebra, we know that x has to influence a and b to equal c. What do these variables stand for? Here you go:

C = sexy body

Or any type of body healthier than the one you have now lol it doesn’t have to be a sexy one (although who doesn’t want to be sexy?)

So how do we solve for C?

A = Diet

Remember, when I work with my life coaching clients who want to lose weight, I don’t ever make them “go on a diet”. The word diet simply means “the way one eats”. So, I ask my clients to change their diet or be aware of their diet and how it influences the daily operation of their physical body. Essentially, “we are what we eat” is one of the truest cliche phrases out there. If you’re eating high volumes of sugar, sodium, unhealthy fats, or processed flour, your essence is not going to feel very positive.

B = Fitness

Fitness doesn’t have to be this hardcore regiment at the gym but you must get your body moving. Walking, jogging, swimming, weight training, anything that gets the body moving and burning calories will help you lose weight.

Again, these two variables must be combined in order to maintain weight loss. When we start the life coaching process for losing weight, I never start with the workout routine. My first question is, what are you eating? My process will introduce healthy macros into your system to get your body in a healthier state before it starts working out. If you simply went to the gym after years of unhealthy eating, your work out is going to be a less than positive experience (it’s no wonder so many people quit early in their workout process!)

And now for x, the most important variable…without it, it’s impossible to combine A and B.

x = mind and heart

The brain is the most important muscle in the body. It is THE muscle you must work out before working out any other muscle in your body. If your mind’s not into it, your body will not follow. And your heart, essentially that emotional part of your brain that commits to why you are losing weight and maintains the passion and intensity in your work outs.

So, the magical formula for losing weight is better read as, diet plus fitness, multiplied by the mind and the heart equals sexy body 🙂

How do we work out the brain to get there? That’s where deep life coaching comes in to play. Let’s chat and see if we can do this for you!

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

What is the difference between a psychiatrist, a therapist, and a Life Coach and how do they help their clients achieve specific goals?

One of the most common questions I receive is, what is a life coach and how is it different from psychiatry and/or psychotherapy. So, to simplify it, here is what each profession works on:

The Psychiatrist: While a psychiatrist does have a deep understanding of the mechanics of the mind, their focus is more on the physiological chemistry of your body and how it affects your mental well-being. Plus, you need to have a medical background in order to have clients.

The Therapist: Their focus is completely on the mind and how the past and present behavior has affected its mental state. Really, how to cope with that mental state or how to cope with what has happened in the past and how it affects daily behavior.

The Life Coach (that’s me!): A life coach’s focus is on the heart and empowering that heart to move the entire body forward into the future through self-care, self-love, above all, learning to put the heart first, or putting yourSELF first.

Could a client benefit from having all three in their life? If needed, absolutely. But my goal is to help you strengthen your heart so that we can work from the bottom up and (hopefully) heighten your mind to its full emotional clarity! Through life coaching sessions, we do the work together to make this happen.

And just a quick joke about therapy:

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But the light bulb has to want to change. 🙂

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

Life – a more satisfying way to look at things, maybe…

Life is not great. Life does not suck. Life is neither challenging, nor easy. Life is not beautiful…nor ugly. Life is not glorious. Life is not boring. Life…just…is. A flowing forward moving current that we are blessed and condemned to constantly experience its present. The future is not here. The past is gone. The only thing guaranteed is this present moment. The future will never occur exactly how it is imagined. The past was neither as good nor as bad as it is remembered. The only thing reliable is this present moment – already fleeting. Appreciate it as much as you can.

As your life coach, it is my duty to help you appreciate the present. Only in the present NOW can we do our best work and empower ourselves.

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

The power of language (or how are you talking to yourself?)

One of my first approaches as a Life Coach is to help people identify how they’re talking to themselves. The first core change I help guide my clients through is an entire focus on self care and the relationship they have with themselves. My life coach clients will hear me say it multiple times and it will most likely be repeated all over my blogs: if you don’t have a positive relationship with yourself, it will be extremely difficult to have a positive relationship with anyone else in your life. Self love, self love, self love….it’s all about loving yourself!

So, the first step we go through in life coaching is “relationship with self”. We identify how we are communicating with ourself by looking at the language being used.

Here’s an example of a negative limitation sentence:

“Things like this always happen to ME.”

This sentence is an absolute sentence that creates an image of the person internalizing it as a victim. Anytime my clients use absolutism to describe their uncomfortable situations, I typically raise a red flag and ask them if it’s true that things like this ALWAYS happen to just THEM. “Always” and “Me” are the key factors that make this a limitation sentence.

I help my clients guide themselves through seeing each situation, each occurrence as an isolated event. We can’t control the things that happen to us, but we CAN control how we react to them. If you react with positive opportunistic internal sentences, you’ll find yourself having a positive empowering attitude more often!

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

Losing Weight Part 3 – the importance of calorie counting, MICROnutrients, and fitness

It’s such a common goal, such a powerful goal (mainly because it is, for most people, a foundation for self-confidence) it gets three separate blogs.

Health and nutrition will actually get a lot of attention as, without it, achieving other goals becomes more challenging than they could be if health were more under control.

The science behind losing weight is actually extremely simple, as it’s basic foundation is driven through static scientific physiology. Essentially, if you do A, you will get B. There is no mystery or magic behind it. The weight loss challenge exists due to the fact that we live in a culture that pushes us to consume all kinds of delicious food. Overcoming the deep roots that social psychology creates in temptation is the key to unlatching yourself from years of patterned behavior and immersing yourself in the science that will create weight loss.

Here are the three simple keys to losing weight and feeling great:

1. Calorie count

Everyone has a minimum calorie count that will trigger weight loss. You’ll have to figure out your own based on age and height.

If your body needs 2000 calories daily to maintain your current body weight, than it’s time to drop that calorie count in order to drop that weight. And it doesn’t have to be anything significant. If you dropped your daily calorie count to 1700, as an example, and were able to commit to that daily calorie count for 90 days, I promise you, you WILL lose weight.

2. Micronutrients

Having said that about calories, however, we must be aware that, eating 1000 calories of pizza vs eating 1000 calories of carrots will administer the same weight loss results. However, you won’t feel great in either situation…your body needs a vast array of micronutrients in order to function. So be aware of where those calories are coming from and what nutrients are entering your body.

3. Fitness

This doesn’t mean, essentially, sweating it out at the gym every single day. Fitness could be just getting your heart to pump blood through your veins for 20 minutes at a faster pace than it normally would. Get up, move around, if your goal for the new year is self-care, make it a small step goal to go for a walk every morning (this will help you physically and mentally on so many levels) just to get some extra calories burned (hint: if you still want to enjoy a treat every now and then, burning more calories makes room for that treat 😉 )

And that’s it. Calorie count, micronutrients, and fitness. On the surface, it seems so simple, yet so hard to commit to psychological.

So how do we commit to it? How do we stay accountable? How do we stay motivated to lose weight? Well, that requires goal setting and establishing a powerful WHY, and love and assistance that a life coach can help with. Let’s make this new year the one where you actually stick to your weight loss goals!

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

Communication IS key – especially when it comes to communicating with yourself

The very first thing I look into when starting a relationship with a life coaching client is their communication skills. I assess where they are in their life when it comes to two extremely important avenues of communication: the way they communicate with the people around them, and, more importantly (and probably most importantly), the way they communicate with themselves.

The second part, that self-care, self-love part of communicating with one’s self, is where we dig deep, for if we aren’t starting off with positive communication with self, it is going to be extremely difficult to get anywhere.

It is so important to develop a positive relationship with self. If you aren’t developing a positive relationship with yourself, it is virtually impossible to have a positive relationship with anyone else in your life.

This includes your romantic partner, friends, co-workers, your boss, your family, even the relationship you have with your cat or your dog – I repeat, if you do not have a positive relationship with yourself, it is VIRTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE to have a positive relationship with anyone else in your life.

There is hope, however, through coaching, once you’ve learned to love yourself, you can genuinely express and communicate positively with others and you’ll be surprised by how much easier it will be to fulfill your goals. Relationship coaching, on any level, is one of my specialties. It helps with business coaching, fitness coaching, team coaching – overall, it moves my clients’ lives forward to achieve success and their ultimate life goals. It is the core to every goal held by each human being (ESPECIALLY in business!)

Use this day to motivate and push yourself into positive self-care and self-love. If you’ve damaged the relationship with self, take time, be patient, but start today by looking at yourself in the mirror and appreciating the positive strengths you do have. Make this new year about taking care of yourself. Make this new year about self-care.

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE