A quick note on relationship coaching

As a life coach, I have had clients who spend a considerable amount of time talking about their husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner/question mark and trying to understand the decisions their significant other is making that could be hurting the relationship.

My role in this scenario, is to help you understand how to manage your expectations and be a stronger communicator with yourself (which will in turn help you communicate better with your partner). When we work on your relationship, our main focus is on you and how you are communicating and communication tricks you can use that will allow your partner to communicate in return and help you understand the decisions they are making.

Essentially, I will give you the tools so that you can figure it out on your own. Without having your partner present in your session, I couldn’t (nor should I) even try to explain your partner’s actions. Through relationship coaching, though, we can figure out what needs to be added to get you there. It’s the same method I use in non-relationship coaching, when helping my clients figure out how to deal with any external force affecting their lives which seems beyond their control. The secret here is that the answer is inside your heart 🙂 and I can help you find it.

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What is the magical formula for losing weight?

There actually is a magical formula for losing weight, but it’s by far not an easy one to solve. The challenge in the formula is making sure each variable is attempted with equal force. Here it is, the magical formula:

x(a+b)=c

Now, if we remember basic algebra, we know that x has to influence a and b to equal c. What do these variables stand for? Here you go:

C = sexy body

Or any type of body healthier than the one you have now lol it doesn’t have to be a sexy one (although who doesn’t want to be sexy?)

So how do we solve for C?

A = Diet

Remember, when I work with my life coaching clients who want to lose weight, I don’t ever make them “go on a diet”. The word diet simply means “the way one eats”. So, I ask my clients to change their diet or be aware of their diet and how it influences the daily operation of their physical body. Essentially, “we are what we eat” is one of the truest cliche phrases out there. If you’re eating high volumes of sugar, sodium, unhealthy fats, or processed flour, your essence is not going to feel very positive.

B = Fitness

Fitness doesn’t have to be this hardcore regiment at the gym but you must get your body moving. Walking, jogging, swimming, weight training, anything that gets the body moving and burning calories will help you lose weight.

Again, these two variables must be combined in order to maintain weight loss. When we start the life coaching process for losing weight, I never start with the workout routine. My first question is, what are you eating? My process will introduce healthy macros into your system to get your body in a healthier state before it starts working out. If you simply went to the gym after years of unhealthy eating, your work out is going to be a less than positive experience (it’s no wonder so many people quit early in their workout process!)

And now for x, the most important variable…without it, it’s impossible to combine A and B.

x = mind and heart

The brain is the most important muscle in the body. It is THE muscle you must work out before working out any other muscle in your body. If your mind’s not into it, your body will not follow. And your heart, essentially that emotional part of your brain that commits to why you are losing weight and maintains the passion and intensity in your work outs.

So, the magical formula for losing weight is better read as, diet plus fitness, multiplied by the mind and the heart equals sexy body 🙂

How do we work out the brain to get there? That’s where deep life coaching comes in to play. Let’s chat and see if we can do this for you!

The Power of ‘Why’ in Goal-Setting

How do I set goals?     How do I achieve my goals?

Goal setting, goal setting, goal setting! It’s one of the most important first steps to bring positive change to your life and it’s one of my deep specialties and the most value I bring to my life coaching clients. Setting, committing, and achieving goals.

The first and foremost step to establishing a goal is to WRITE IT DOWN. Get it out of your head and onto a sheet of paper. For example, let’s say your goal is to lose weight. If this is one of your goals, then, right now, take out a long sheet of paper and, at the very top write, “I want to lose weight.”

You now have this goal out of your head and into the Universe and you can see it, right there in front of you.

Next step: underneath where you’ve written your goal (in this case we’ve written down, “I want to lose weight.”) write out the word, ‘Why?’ and then reflect on that. Why DO you want to lose weight? Take some time and really brainstorm the reasons why you want to lose weight. It’s very important to establish a powerful ‘why’ to support your goal. Otherwise, you simply have a goal and nothing to support it. Why, why, why. Why do you want to lose weight? Take a moment and write out a paragraph as to why it is you want to lose weight.

Third step: After you’ve written down your goal, and you’ve written out your strong ‘why’, underneath your why paragraph, write out the question, “How?” so that we can focus on HOW you’re going to achieve this goal. Really think about this and write out, at minimum, 10 steps on how you can achieve this goal. Write out 10 things you can commit to without any reservation to help you achieve this goal. You can write out 20 steps, you can write out 15, it’s up to you, but write out at least 10 steps to help you really dig and brainstorm what you’ll need to do to accomplish this goal.

So far you have your goal written down, you’ve established a strong and powerful ‘why’ and you’ve written out at least 10 things that show how you’re going to accomplish your goal. The last step is to go back to the top of the paper where you wrote out your goal, take your pen or pencil and scratch out the word “WANT” and replace it with the word “WILL” so that it reads, “I WILL lose weight.”

Whenever you say or write that you “want” something, you’re not pushing yourself to achieve that something, you’re simply creating a want for it. When you tell yourself (and the Universe) that you WILL do something, yourself and the Universe will take note.

Now take this sheet of paper and place it somewhere where you can view it every single day. Your fridge, your computer, your workstation, your front door, any place where you’ll see it every day so that it can serve as a reminder that this is a commitment you made with yourself.