Ask “On what level will this work out for me?” Instead of “Will this work out for me?” New video

TRANSCRIPT:

Life Coach Tommy: Hey guys, Life Coach Tommy here, hope you’re having a productive Friday and you had a productive week and are gearing up for a relaxing weekend or a productive weekend depending on what you’re doing this weekend.

I wanted to send a quick shout out to something very specific. And it has to do with my life coaching clients when – sometimes they establish a goal and they start achieving that goal and self-doubt starts coming in – negativity starts seeping in to their daily life. It could be external it could be from friends, family, or it could be internal. Side Note: internal negativity is the hardest to overcome and I focus a lot on coaching people through overcoming internal negativity.

But, the result of these negative forces, a question pops into their mind – it’s will this work out for me. And when we’re brought forth this question – am I really doing this – is this really worth it, will this work out for me? I’m able to help my clients and I encourage people to think this way instead of that way, and what I ask is that, instead of asking, “Will this work out for me?” Wouldn’t it be better to ask, “On what level will this work out for me?”

And, when I introduce this question into their life they start thinking about, instead of a black and white scenario where this either won’t work out for me or it will work out for me, that how much work do I need to put into this in order for it to work out for me.

So, I’m able to help my clients through life coaching to think that way instead of the other way. And, I give the example of fitness, and diet, and losing weight, and bodybuilding and what not. It’s literally the easiest comparison to give because the science of losing weight is super easy because – anyways I’m not going to go into that – but the science is easy – I’ve written several blogs on how to lose weight.

But, the thing about losing weight is that IF you go to the gym, IF you exercise, and IF you eat healthy, it is virtually impossible for that not to result in some sort of benefit.

Again – let’s say we have levels A, B, and C. If you are investing – let’s say C is the lowest, A is the highest – if you are investing C level of work into your diet and exercise, you’re still going to see results. You’re still going to feel better, you’re still gonna burn fat, you’re still gonna lose a little bit of weight, but not as much as if you did an A level of work where you’re going in and you’re doing hardcore you’re working out five days a week – like I do – THAT level of result, that level is much different than the C level.

And so, again, instead of asking yourself, will this work out for me, I encourage my clients to ask themselves, instead, “On what level will this work out for me?” Because, once again, it re-aligns their focus into how much work are they willing to put in to make this work.

Anyways, I hope you have a very productive Friday, and the biggest thing about the weekend is that it allows you to disconnect sometimes from the daily rituals of the week – so I do encourage you to take some time and meditate. And meditation is literally – doesn’t have to be anything surreal or metaphysical – but it’s literally just taking at least five minutes to breathe and focus on your breathe so that your brain, all the noise that happens, can quiet a little bit and you can seek a little bit of clarity, so here’s hoping you get a little bit of clarity over the weekend through five minutes of meditation – that’s a challenge for you. Have a wonderful weekend!

Changing your thoughts before changing behavior is better than vice versa – a video transcript

New video on changing your thinking before changing your behavior and the foundation I use in life coaching with WANTING something versus WILLING it into action.

TRANSCRIPT:

Life Coach Tommy: Hey guys, Life Coach Tommy here, hope you had a great weekend, hope you’re ready for a productive week! Really quick, I want to talk about two things: I want to talk about the idea of wanting something and the idea of willing it into action.

I just did chest this morning – just got done with the gym – for those keep tracking I was really sick in December and I received a huge setback but I’m getting my strength back and I’m getting back to the numbers I’m used to – I think probably by the end of next week, I’ll be there again.

So, there’s this idea of wanting something versus willing it into action. What I mean by that is, whatever you want in life, if you want to earn $10,000,000 – for example – let’s reach for the stars – if you want $10,000,000 or if you want to earn $10,000,000 – if you want to be in a financial position for $10,000,000, and you say, “I want $10,000,000.” What you’ve done is that you’ve literally just created a want. It’s all you’ve done. Like, “I WANT $10,000,000!” And if we go metaphysical, you’re telling the Universe “I want $10,000,000.” And the Universe responds saying, okay, great, I acknowledge, you want $10,000,000, and, typically, nothing will happen.

But, when you change your mentality to: “I will earn $10,000,000.” Something changes in your mind and the Universe takes note – like, this guy’s willing something into action and you actually take things, you actually start thinking, well, how is that possible, what can I do – you make a commitment to yourself.

Now, $10,000,000 for anyone, in this world in today’s age, in this country, the United States, is attainable. But, for something a bit more short-term and I use the word ‘realistic’ (i.e. in the next month or so) we look at fitness. If you want to lose 10lbs in 2 months, that’s great. But if you say that you will lose 10lbs in 2 months and you commit to the action necessary to make that happen, it’s more than likely to happen because it’s a positive psychological technique to WILL something into action than to want it.

This is something I focus on especially when it comes to business coaching and taking my client’s business to the next level. So, anything you want today – anything you plan on achieving this week, any goals that you have, any needs you have, any wants you have for this week. See what happens to your mentality when you say that “I WILL do this.”

If you WANT to reach a goal. If you WANT to hit some specific numbers. If you WANT to start an action plan for losing weight – see what happens when you say that you WILL do it, see what happens to your mentality.

The second thing I wanted to talk about, and this is going to be super quick, the idea of changing behavior or changing thoughts. There is a long thought process that as long as you pursue the action, then your mentality will change.

Unfortunately, that’s actually inaccurate because, if you change your behavior and your mind is still not changed, that behavior that you’re trying to change, that patterned behavior, is highly likely not going to be consistent – it’s not going to – you’re not going to stick to that action.

But, if you can change your thoughts first – and this is parallel to what I talked about before with the want vs will, if you change your thoughts and you really commit and you change your mentality and you believe in yourself and you believe you can achieve things – good things, great things – THEN you’re behavior will change.

So, look at your thoughts first, change the way you think and that will change your behavior. Trying to change your behavior is good, but those who think that just doing the actions and doing the stuff is going to change your mentality – unfortunately it doesn’t necessarily work out that way – because, again, while it can last, you’re going to still have those thoughts in your head, those negative thoughts, that negative mentality and the behavior you’ve worked so hard to change – it’s not going to change.

Anyways, if there’s a subject you want me talk about in these videos, if there’s something you have a question about, let me know. Send me a message, send me a comment, and I’ll recognize you by name – if you want, if you don’t, let me know. But I’ll recognize you and I’ll respond to your comment via this video I’m posting. So, anyways, I hope you have a terrific productive Monday and a productive week.

Click here to contact Life Coach Tommy: Let’s Chat

Quora Q & A, mostly about diet and fitness

I recently started answering questions as a Life Coach on Quora and received an overwhelming response to answer more questions. I’m pleased that there are a lot of people interested in learning more about how to eat healthy and very specific work out routines. While my focus is more on how to establish goals and fulfill them, I have over 20 years of practical knowledge in diet and fitness and am more than willing to share my wisdom. Here is a selection of specific questions and answers, to submit your question on Quora feel free to visit me here @ My Quora Profile

Quora Q & A:

Does healthy weight loss improve your mood?

If we’re talking about consuming healthy macros in conjunction with a strong fitness routine, absolutely. There is scientific evidence that consuming healthy macros while getting that heart to pump can improve overall mood immensely!

What is the most important aspect of one’s diet in terms of building a six pack?

Great question, and it’s a relatively simple answer. The most important aspect of one’s diet of building a six pack is keeping your body in a hypo-caloric state In conjunction with building the muscles of the abdominal region. In other words, the calories you put in should be less than the calories you’re burning (it also helps if those calories are solid macros (i.e. avoid too much processed sugar, sodium, and saturated fat)).

How do you get your ex-boyfriend back even though he has a girlfriend?

The best thing is to ask yourself whether or not he is worth your attention when his attention is not on you. Would it be better to have someone in your life whose sole devotion is toward you?

What sabotages your diet?

There are too many things to mention here, but the biggest thing that can really sabotage your diet is not sticking to one! 🙂

I want to start strength training but it seems complex and expensive. Do you have any advice for me? 

Depending on where you live, a gym membership is only around $30/month. Outside of that, it’s not too expensive to make sure you’re eating healthy in conjunction with intense training. At the end of the day, it really depends on your goals. If your aim is to compete on a professional level, yes, it can get pricey (I currently ingest up to 3000 calories a day to maintain my gains). However, if you just want to get stronger, there are plenty of inexpensive options to help maintain a solid strength training diet. I highly recommend watching a crap ton of YouTube videos on strength training. My favorites are Athlean, Jeff Nippard, and Fouad Abiad. Best of luck, brah! 

How do I keep my muscles hard and in shape for a longer time?

The easy answer is consistent training and sticking to your macros. If you get off track however and your muscles soften, don’t be dismayed. Once you’ve built the muscle it’s easier to get it back and stay harder longer…again, if you stick to it.

Should a low carb diet be temporary or permanent?

Depends on how low you wanna go and your goals. If you want quick short term weight loss (and don’t mind gaining it all back later) go for temporary. But, overall, any sort of eating behavior should have some level of permanence. It also depends on your activity level on any given day. Healthy carbs provide a solid source of energy, so if you’re doing heavy cardio or heavy weight training, be sure to get your carbs in to sustain the energy. But if you’re staying inside all day and not doing anything, you won’t need as many carbs.

What’s the most common excuse people give for not getting abs?

Believe it or not but the most common excuse people give for not getting abs is that they don’t do ab workouts enough. The problem with this excuse is that it’s highly inaccurate. You could do hundreds of crunches every day, but if it’s not followed by cardio and a good diet, the abs will never show. The most common legit excuse, though, is simply eating too many calories and not burning it off.

How can I change to a healthier diet and start training?

The easy answer is: start eating healthy and train 🙂 but the answer I teach my clients is to start with why do you want to eat healthier and start training? The science is easy – and the information on how to do it is out there, but getting and staying motivated is the real reason I believe you’re asking this question and it starts with ‘Why?’

If you have removed carbs from your diet, how long is it safe to not eat any, and what is a good substitute?

Unfortunately, carbs are the only good substitute for carbs. There are a lot of alternatives for short term energy, but to get what carbs give you, you’ll need to eat more of those alternatives (which will involve ingesting more calories). After about 2–4 days of no carbs, your body will enter Ketosis and it will start burning fat for energy. I’ll defer to this article for all the risks of being in Ketosis: 7 Dangers of Going Keto

Should I take BCAA’s or is there enough in my whey protein shake?

It’s not that there are enough in your whey protein shake, it’s more for the results you want and understanding how BCAA’s work differently than just whey protein. If all you want is to get stronger and a little toned, then, yes, there are enough in your whey protein shake to get those results. But if you want massive growth and increased strength, add BCAA’s and Casein protein (naturally found in cow milk, but there are also supplements). Another way to look at it is that BCAA’s are a tool while whey protein is a source. Really simplified, BCAAs help inject protein straight to your muscles that otherwise might be digested. Another thing about Casein protein: it works on your muscles longer than whey protein (even while you’re asleep).

While working out to build muscle, should I try to keep my protein intake as high as possible?

If you’re trying to build muscle, you should, at minimum, be eating 1g of protein per lb of body weight. Eating as much as possible wouldn’t be conducive because you’d be adding extra calories to your diet which could turn into body fat and hide your gains.

Can I find a girlfriend if I don’t like to cuss, drink alcohol or go to clubs?

Yes. Find the girl who doesn’t cuss, drink alcohol, or go to clubs – they’re out there, I’ve met them 😉

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

How owning your Response to an Event will affect your Outcome immensely

In the extremely essential book The Success Principles, authors Jack Canfield and Janet Switzer taught me a valuable lesson. A valuable equation that I push my clients to follow and include in their daily life. This equation is: E + R = O. As the title of this blog would suggest, E = Event, R = Response, and O = Outcome. If an Event happens, your Response to that event will influence the overall Outcome. My biggest take away from this book was, controlling the outcome to an event is one’s choice and this is accomplished by maintaining awareness of one’s response to that event, no matter what.

Simplified, if a negative event happens and your response is negative, what sort of outcome do you suppose would occur? If a positive event happens and your response is negative, what do you think the outcome will be? If you’re catching on, then you can probably figure out what the outcome would be if a negative event happens and your response was positive. What sort of outcome do you think that would create?

Below is your answer sheet, message me and let me know if your answers were in line:

-(E) + -(R) = -(O)

+(E) + -(R) = -(O)

+(E) + +(R) = +(O)

Self-Empowerment is the ultimate result when one lives through that last equation. I help my clients understand how to take responsibility in their responses. It is very easy to blame others or any other external factor when something negative happens, but self-empowerment can be achieved when my clients are able to take full responsibility for their reaction and not lend power to the multitude of external events that can affect our life.

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

My specialties as a Life Coach and how they can help

Aside from helping my clients achieve overall well-being through self-empowerment and self love, there are three specialties I’m able to help my clients with through life coaching:

1) Relationship Coaching

Intimate, work, social, and family relationships have all been focused on through my life coaching process. The focus is mainly on making sure our communication channels are open and honest. Not only with others, but also, and most importantly, with ourselves.

2) Career Coaching

When it comes to my client’s career path, I am able to help them focus on establishing realistic and attainable goals through goal-setting exercises and helping my clients realize their full potential.

3) Fitness and Nutrition Coaching

So many of my clients simply want to lose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle. But so many are without the resource or knowledge on how to truly create a plan they can stick with and commit to, not only for the summer or an upcoming event, but for the rest of their life!

I help my clients establish solid goals they can remain passionate about while seeing and feeling results within weeks!

Contact me today and let me know which Life Coach you need!

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

What is the magical formula for losing weight and how it applies to keeping the weight off?

There actually is a magical formula for losing weight, but it’s by far not an easy one to solve. The challenge in the formula is making sure each variable is attempted with equal force. Here it is, the magical formula:

x(a+b)=c

Now, if we remember basic algebra, we know that x has to influence a and b to equal c. What do these variables stand for? Here you go:

C = sexy body

Or any type of body healthier than the one you have now lol it doesn’t have to be a sexy one (although who doesn’t want to be sexy?)

So how do we solve for C?

A = Diet

Remember, when I work with my life coaching clients who want to lose weight, I don’t ever make them “go on a diet”. The word diet simply means “the way one eats”. So, I ask my clients to change their diet or be aware of their diet and how it influences the daily operation of their physical body. Essentially, “we are what we eat” is one of the truest cliche phrases out there. If you’re eating high volumes of sugar, sodium, unhealthy fats, or processed flour, your essence is not going to feel very positive.

B = Fitness

Fitness doesn’t have to be this hardcore regiment at the gym but you must get your body moving. Walking, jogging, swimming, weight training, anything that gets the body moving and burning calories will help you lose weight.

Again, these two variables must be combined in order to maintain weight loss. When we start the life coaching process for losing weight, I never start with the workout routine. My first question is, what are you eating? My process will introduce healthy macros into your system to get your body in a healthier state before it starts working out. If you simply went to the gym after years of unhealthy eating, your work out is going to be a less than positive experience (it’s no wonder so many people quit early in their workout process!)

And now for x, the most important variable…without it, it’s impossible to combine A and B.

x = mind and heart

The brain is the most important muscle in the body. It is THE muscle you must work out before working out any other muscle in your body. If your mind’s not into it, your body will not follow. And your heart, essentially that emotional part of your brain that commits to why you are losing weight and maintains the passion and intensity in your work outs.

So, the magical formula for losing weight is better read as, diet plus fitness, multiplied by the mind and the heart equals sexy body 🙂

How do we work out the brain to get there? That’s where deep life coaching comes in to play. Let’s chat and see if we can do this for you!

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

What is the difference between a psychiatrist, a therapist, and a Life Coach and how do they help their clients achieve specific goals?

One of the most common questions I receive is, what is a life coach and how is it different from psychiatry and/or psychotherapy. So, to simplify it, here is what each profession works on:

The Psychiatrist: While a psychiatrist does have a deep understanding of the mechanics of the mind, their focus is more on the physiological chemistry of your body and how it affects your mental well-being. Plus, you need to have a medical background in order to have clients.

The Therapist: Their focus is completely on the mind and how the past and present behavior has affected its mental state. Really, how to cope with that mental state or how to cope with what has happened in the past and how it affects daily behavior.

The Life Coach (that’s me!): A life coach’s focus is on the heart and empowering that heart to move the entire body forward into the future through self-care, self-love, above all, learning to put the heart first, or putting yourSELF first.

Could a client benefit from having all three in their life? If needed, absolutely. But my goal is to help you strengthen your heart so that we can work from the bottom up and (hopefully) heighten your mind to its full emotional clarity! Through life coaching sessions, we do the work together to make this happen.

And just a quick joke about therapy:

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But the light bulb has to want to change. 🙂

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

How many goals should I set at once?

I’m a Life Coach in Los Angeles and my goal setting approach with my clients is two fold. 

First, we establish THE top five goals. My experience has shown that this really gets my clients’ juices flowing in thinking of everything they might want to improve in their lives. Once we’ve completed the list of 5 goals, I then have them select the top one – the top one immediate goal they want to see affecting their lives. And that they could realistically achieve in the not too distant future.

Once we’ve selected the top goal, I ask them to temporarily dismiss the other four and to put all of their resources and energy in to making this one goal a reality. 

What I’ve seen is that, it’s easier for my clients to put more energy into one goal, then 5 whole separate goals. Focusing on five goals can be overwhelming for my clients and they tend to be easily discouraged if they aren’t accomplishing them because they feel that their energy is spread too thin. 

Once the one goal has been accomplished, we celebrate, and, like a six shooter, we select one of the remaining four and reload while adding a NEW goal to the list.

My clients have enjoyed incredible results thanks to this approach. 

There is a quote by Confucius that I lend my clients when talking about goals and spreading ourselves too thin: 

“The man who chases two rabbits, catches neither.”

Ron Swanson from the TV show “Parks and Rec” also has a very profound (and somewhat crass) quote:

“It’s better to whole ass one thing then to half ass two things.”

How many goals have you set for yourself this year? How many have you accomplished?

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can contact him by clicking HERE

The Power of ‘Why’ in Goal-Setting – the ultimate motivational force

How do I set life goals?     How do I achieve my life goals?

Goal setting, goal setting, goal setting! Whether my clients are going through business coaching or fitness coaching, SETTING goals is one of the most important first steps to achieve success and bring those life goals to the next level! Goals accomplishment is one of my deep specialties and the most value I bring to my life coaching clients. It’s also one of the fundamental foundations of what a life coach does for their clients. Setting goals, committing to the goals (through action items and milestones), and achieving those goals.

The first and foremost step to establishing a goal is to WRITE IT DOWN. Get it out of your head and onto a sheet of paper. My favorite thing is when a client comes to me with a new goal and I ask, “Have you written it down?” When they respond, no, I jokingly call them out and ensure they write it down right then and there to get it out of their head and on to paper.

As an example, let’s say your goal is to bring in three more clients TODAY. If this is one of your goals, then, right now, take out a long sheet of paper and, at the very top write, “I want to bring in three new clients today.”

You now have this goal out of your head and into the Universe and you can see it, right there in front of you. You can visualize it.

Next step: underneath where you’ve written your goal (in this case we’ve written down, “I want to bring in three new clients today.”) write out the word, ‘Why?’ and then reflect on that. Why DO you want to bring in three new clients today? Take some time and really brainstorm the reasons why you want to bring in three new clients today. It’s very important to establish a powerful ‘why’ to support your goal. Otherwise, you simply have a goal and nothing to support it. Why, why, why. Why do you want these three new clients? Why today? Take a moment and write out a paragraph as to why it is you want these three new clients.

Third step: After you’ve written down your goal, and you’ve written out your strong ‘why’, underneath your why paragraph, write out the question, “How?” so that we can focus on HOW you’re going to achieve this goal. Really think about this and write out, at minimum, 5 steps on how you can achieve this goal. Write out 5 things you can commit to without any reservation to help you achieve this goal. You can write out 20 steps, you can write out 15, it’s up to you, but write out at least 5 steps to help you really dig and brainstorm what you’ll need to do to accomplish this goal.

So far you have your goal written down, you’ve established a strong and powerful ‘why’ and you’ve written out at least 5 things that show how you’re going to accomplish your goal. The last step is to go back to the top of the paper where you wrote out your goal, take your pen or pencil and scratch out the word “WANT” and replace it with the word “WILL” so that it reads, “I WILL bring in three new clients today.”

Whenever you say or write that you “want” something, you’re not pushing yourself to achieve that something, you’re simply creating a want for it. When you tell yourself (and the Universe) that you WILL do something, yourself and the Universe will take note. The gears in your brain suddenly move and spin in a direction to help you out, to figure this out.

Now take this sheet of paper and place it somewhere where you can view it every single day. Your fridge, your computer, your workstation, your front door, any place where you’ll see it every day so that it can serve as a reminder that this is a commitment you made with yourself.

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE

Losing Weight Part 3 – the importance of calorie counting, MICROnutrients, and fitness

It’s such a common goal, such a powerful goal (mainly because it is, for most people, a foundation for self-confidence) it gets three separate blogs.

Health and nutrition will actually get a lot of attention as, without it, achieving other goals becomes more challenging than they could be if health were more under control.

The science behind losing weight is actually extremely simple, as it’s basic foundation is driven through static scientific physiology. Essentially, if you do A, you will get B. There is no mystery or magic behind it. The weight loss challenge exists due to the fact that we live in a culture that pushes us to consume all kinds of delicious food. Overcoming the deep roots that social psychology creates in temptation is the key to unlatching yourself from years of patterned behavior and immersing yourself in the science that will create weight loss.

Here are the three simple keys to losing weight and feeling great:

1. Calorie count

Everyone has a minimum calorie count that will trigger weight loss. You’ll have to figure out your own based on age and height.

If your body needs 2000 calories daily to maintain your current body weight, than it’s time to drop that calorie count in order to drop that weight. And it doesn’t have to be anything significant. If you dropped your daily calorie count to 1700, as an example, and were able to commit to that daily calorie count for 90 days, I promise you, you WILL lose weight.

2. Micronutrients

Having said that about calories, however, we must be aware that, eating 1000 calories of pizza vs eating 1000 calories of carrots will administer the same weight loss results. However, you won’t feel great in either situation…your body needs a vast array of micronutrients in order to function. So be aware of where those calories are coming from and what nutrients are entering your body.

3. Fitness

This doesn’t mean, essentially, sweating it out at the gym every single day. Fitness could be just getting your heart to pump blood through your veins for 20 minutes at a faster pace than it normally would. Get up, move around, if your goal for the new year is self-care, make it a small step goal to go for a walk every morning (this will help you physically and mentally on so many levels) just to get some extra calories burned (hint: if you still want to enjoy a treat every now and then, burning more calories makes room for that treat 😉 )

And that’s it. Calorie count, micronutrients, and fitness. On the surface, it seems so simple, yet so hard to commit to psychological.

So how do we commit to it? How do we stay accountable? How do we stay motivated to lose weight? Well, that requires goal setting and establishing a powerful WHY, and love and assistance that a life coach can help with. Let’s make this new year the one where you actually stick to your weight loss goals!

Life Coach Tommy is a Certified Life Coach based out of Sherman Oaks, CA and serves Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. You can get back to the home page by clicking HERE